Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
Joooin uuuuusss!
Thanks for the ping.
Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
As she is passing one particulary beautiful wheat field, she sees another woman, a blonde, sitting in a rowboat. Rowing. She immediately pulls over, and walks over to the fence.
"HEY! HEY," she screams, "what the hell are you doing?"
The blonde in the field replies, "Why, I am sailing on a sea of wheat!"
"DAMMIT," the executive screams, "Do you REALIZE that it's blondes like YOU that give us all a bad name???"
She begins to walk back to the car, then turns around, for one last retort, "And your lucky I don't know how to swim, lady, or I'd come out there and kick your ASS!"
Christmas Cookies
1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup brown sugar 2 tsp lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla
Start by sampling the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup; drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's a good idea to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so pour another cup; drink. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet? Check the Cuervo again. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl out the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. CHERRY MISTMAS
Ahh, how cute, two puppies and a pussy cat!