Posted on 12/17/2004 8:59:30 AM PST by TheBigB
Awright guys 'n gals 'n kats 'n kittens...time for another FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD! Feel free to post jokes, silly stories, cartoons, beeber stunings, or even to IGNORE THIS THREAD!
To start things off...a picture of an adorable kitten!
Oh, that is just SO wrong on so many levels! AUGH!
All her stuning beebers are belong to us now!
thag
You, my friend, are absolutely obsessed with that bouncy pic, aintcha? : )
em er some niiiiiice shoes you got on!
yuk yuk
Finally, the manager confronts her..tells her she's causing a disturbance, and finally, exasperated, asks her what she's doing with her hands like that.
"Oh," she replies.."I'm so scatterbrained. That's how I remember my shopping list"
"Two ears of corn"
"Two quarts of milk"
"FANTASTIC!"
Ahh, how cute, two puppies and a pussy cat!
Two men had crashed on a deserted island in the Pacific. One man went to scout the island while the other man stayed with the plane wreckage. After a couple hours the scout came back and said:
Man, we are in BIG TROUBLE! There's NO FOOD, NO WATER, AND THE WHOLE ISLAND IS DESERTED. The man who stayed said:
No problem, I make $100,000 a week! The scout then repeated, "Man! Didn't you hear me? WE ARE DOOMED! We have no way of surviving here!" The man who stayed repeated, "No Problem! I make $100,000 a week!" The scout was then apoplectic! "MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO DENSE! WE ARE GONNA DIE OUT HERE! NO FOOD! NO WATER! NO COMMUNICATIONS!" The man who stayed then said,"Listen, Don't make me repeat this again. I make $100,000 a week. I TITHE! My preacher WILL FIND ME!"...................
Good one!
Do you have the video where Roger Clinton says he needs more cocaine for his brother who has a nose like a vacuum cleaner?
Like an infant in a topless bar...
(It's a coping skill required for life in California...)
__________________
Here are the top ten winners in the International Pun Contest
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall The one turns to the other and says,"Dam!".
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that; you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did????
emerson bigguns (i think that's the answer)
There was a kitten in that picture?
Sorry
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