FREEPER FAMILY TABLE--Come on in! Throw a chair!

me | December 3, 2004 | grellis

[grellis]

Congratulations! How does it feel to finally have that blessed girl in your arms? How are you recuperating?

80 Square Miles had the pecan tip. I have the distinct feeling there will be a national shortage of butterscotch Schnapps this year!

[grellis]

Changing topics to your larger theme: my own stance is to be judgmental, and charitable at the same time.

It is an awfully fine line, especially when we don't know the circumstances. There were a few FReepers on the "Paradigm" thread who took the time to explain why they live in expensive communities and have to have both parents employed to continue living where they do--and they were circumstances as opposed to excuses. There were other FReepers who fell silent and I find myself wondering why.

The more I think about the "So move!" attitude, which as I have said is one I have had in the past, the more angry I get about it. I do live in an affordable community. Guess what? We have dark clouds over here. Yes, I can afford to be a SAHM. However, I have rental properties on either side of me--both owned by slumlords. Two years ago we went an entire summer without being able to play in our own backyard because one of my neighboring tenants was a crack dealer. Two doors down from me, right now, there is a panhandling, heroin-addicted prostitute. When she's coherent, she's a very friendly lady. Her johns have taken to door-to-door panhandling, however, and these are scary guys. When someone knocks at my door lately, I answer it with an 8" chef's knife in one hand and the dog in another. Affordable communities may have some perks, but they have their down sides as well.

[KPfromDerryNH]

Wow, what a big, healthy baby! My now 3 year old was a nine pounder.
I am a home schooler. It is in large part, tied to the fact that I was a latch-key kid. Mom was never around because she had to work and I was determined to be different. This has not been the way I have always felt. I used to work full time out of fear of the poverty I once lived in. People have complex, very personal reasons for what they do. I have a friend, a smart, beautiful woman who works full time. She is still a great mom. Sometimes I wonder if she feels a lot of pressure to continue working because she was one of the first people in her family to finish college. My grandfather did not think females needed to go to college. He thought it was a waste of money. Now I see my aunt, a college professor(Take that-Grandpa!) and wonder how she can possibly do it all and do it well with three kids. But I'm proud of her too.
My daughters go to Chinese School with lots of adopted kids from China. If I was one of them, I would love America even more. How can that be traitorous? If abortion were not so common and family reunification was not pushed as much as it is, adoption of American children would be far more of an option. Also, people think American kids in the foster care system are "messed up" after a certain age and time in the system. Ouch, that hits a nerve with me...

[Old Sarge]

I've missed a whole bunch of the coffees, I see! Including that thread you mentioned...

I have concluded that the Free Republic Answers are:

Is there some way that we can be more supportive of the choices of other parents?

NO.

If that is not possible, could we at least try to be a little more constructive in our criticism?

HELL, no.

It's so easy to tear down, ain't it?

I prefer the method of finding out the "WHY" behind a person's situation. Someone might have a holy horror of asking doctors for help - what reason is there for it? You learn by asking (the Army uses the euphemism, "Interrogation"...)

[WV Mountain Mama]

Howdy!

I have taught preschool, kindergarten, junior high Title 1 Math and am now "retired" SAHM of 3 kids ages 3 and under. I have experience of working in the daycare/ public school setting and will be sending my kids to public school. The parents that are involved in their kids lives, whether it be for 2 hours a day or all day are what makes kids successful.

To take it a step further, I have seen parents who feel guilty about working. The guilt they feel is probably the most harmful thing in that situation. The guilt they feel is what they use to justify overindulging a child and not giving the child boundaries. Those children really run amok. If the parent would just accept their decision without guilt, it would be the the best medicine for the family.

[kiki04]

congrats! She's in my prayers! Can't wait to see pics!

[StarCMC]

CONGRATULATIONS DUDLEY!!! HUGS!

[StarCMC]

If you ever need a homeschool mom to weigh in on a thread and support you all, just ping me. I have made different decisions than you, but I support your right to make your own decision AND that you know you and your kids better than anyone and can make your own decision best since you have that information! *HUGS*

[StarCMC]

There were other FReepers who fell silent and I find myself wondering why

IIRC, I wanted to post on that thread, but I had a REALLY busy day and didn't have time to get into it -- which it looked like was going to be a necessity. I was there before the comment about adoption (what kind of moron would THINK such a thing, let alone ADMIT it?) or I don't think I could have held back. And an aside...My ALMOST 16 year old niece just gave birth to twins last week and gave them up for adoption. I want to send her a note to tell her I'm proud of her for choosing to deliver her children and then doing what had to be an extremely difficult thing and give them a better chance by giving them up. Any thoughts?

[Tax-chick]

I need to learn the walk away method someone mentioned earlier.

"Bless your bowels, honey ... I just love your sense of humor!"

[Tax-chick]

I'm offended! I'll have you know that I *am* holier than you are, bless your bowels!

[annyokie]

I meant to offend you, you holier-than-thou type! Pray for me and feel even more holy. Bless your heart! : )

[StarCMC]

ROFLMBO!!

A good friend who's from Mississippi informed me that "Bless Your Heart" is southern-speak for "What an idiot!"

Case in point:

"Johnny just drove off with his coat tail hanging out his door - bless his heart!"

[GraniteStateConservative]

Some people like to be insulting and classless. Just ignore them. Life's too short.

[Gabz]

She just nicely drives them insane until they give her what she wants!

ROFL!!!!

To consistently be able to do that is an art, IMHO.

[StarCMC]

She is a Picasso! LOL!

[Tax-chick]

I can't claim credit ... "Dead Corpse" gave me the Latin tagline which translates, roughly, "Bless your heart! How'd you get your hair to do THAT?!" Then I ran it by the North Carolina FReepers board and the translation got a little political. It refers to the recent, failed Democrat candidate for Senate, Erskine Bowles (Irksome Bowels).

The "rad-trad" I approached about helping with the translation didn't bite :-). Maybe I'll ask my priest on Sunday! He's old.

[Tax-chick]

It's the Molasses Miasma of Niceness. It makes even the most contentious FReepers retire in confusion.

[StarCMC]

ROFL!!!!

[Gabz]

My apologies for missing the ping this morning......for some reason I seem to have missed a bunch today. I will go back and look for it.

For me it's not so much that I can't hold my own, but some of the comments have been hurtful and not just here on FR......there have been some very hurtful and hateful things said to and about me over the years regarding my parenting, and I guess I lose my aligator skin when it comes to attacks on my family.

Thank you so very much for your vote of confinence in my abilities.