As We Get Older, How Do Our Dating Values Change?

MSN.com ^ | July 30, 2004 | Andrea Orr

[ASA Vet]

My preference hasn't changed in 40 years.

Young slim Siamese girls still do it for me.

[Recovering Hermit]

Freepers...would you like to share your success/horror stories concerning dating, including online dating services?

I have a Match.com psycho stalking me to this day.

In defense of Match.com, you can meet potential psychos just about anywhere.

[Recovering Hermit]

go latin

I did.

[Lockbar]

I am twice married, twice divorced. Both lasted only a few years and no kids from either. The older I have become, I have found that I am more attracted to women my own age (late 40's). I would find it difficult to relate to a woman aged 35 or less. Plus I feel creepy if I see a real attractive gal in her early 20's and I look at her too much. Something about it seems improper. I don't think anything beats a well kept woman in her 40's.

4 years ago I met a really great looking gal my own age on Match.Com. We dated for 6 months, but I had to break it off as she had a very dysfunctional 20 year old drug using lazy son who she wanted to have live with us if we became more permanently attached. I'm not really into kids, let alone 20 year old drug using kids. Plus for some really wierd reason, she had very poor common sense and often enjoyed giving other drivers the middle finger. I might be willing to take a bullet for my own stupid actions, but not for somebody elses poor judgement.

I am much less willing to put up with "stuff" (bad behavior, bad attitudes) than I was 25 years ago. I find myself much more confident and willing to walk away if things don't seem right in a relationship. I don't try to "fix things" in a relationship anymore. When I was much younger I would sometimes be too desperate to make things work and I was selling myself out, opening myself up to be taken advantage of by some pretty nasty gals I had unfortunately spent time with. I find that if it doesn't work, you are better off breaking things off and try to find somebody more compatible.

These are just my own personal observations on how I have viewed the changes in my single/dating life. Your mileage may vary.

[fooman]

;)

[Little Ray]

I tried a dating service. Every last one of my "dates" said "We don't have enough in common." This after trying to be a gentleman, to listen to them and let them do the talking, etc. Apparently being an intelligent, literate, and moderately well travelled gentleman is a turn off.

Met my current girlfriend at a friend's New Year's party. She started chasing me... when I realized it, I turned around to be caught. Never knew I could be so happy.

[kittymyrib]

I predict her prize will find a younger, less-demanding, prettier woman with or without her knowledge.

[Recovering Hermit]

I prefer to raise my daughter, that is the main focus of my life.

Your priorities are in order. Dating, and anything else for that matter, is secondary to your children.

[HairOfTheDog]

She started chasing me... when I realized it, I turned around to be caught.

That's really cute.

[varon]

One evening, I met a woman in a bar. She took me home that night, and I never left!

We have been married and in love with each other for 17 years now.

Some people might get the idea you never sobered up ;-)

[ladyjane]

But my best online dating story involves being invited to dinner at this man's house for the 4th date. He greeted me at the door in ladies undies and fuzzy slippers begging to be spanked cause he had been a naughty boy

Wow! So did you spank him? Details. We want details! LOL

Seriously, don't give up looking. Being alone is wonderful - but finally meeting 'the one' is wonderful-est. It's so good it's beyond anything you might hope for. Stay busy and it will happen!

[vetvetdoug]

My priorities are in order. However, if Anne Coulter should make herself available to me, even for a short time, I would be available. That is the only thing I'd do different.

[cjshapi]

I gave him a half hearted swat to the backside and mumbled some joke. Mom impressed on me the fact that you don't intentionally make someone feel bad so deep that I was in a daze. Did get out of there pretty quickly.

I figure someday I'll bump into the right one. Hopefully I'll be aware enough to realize it and not let a good thing pass by.

[struggle]

One evening, I met a woman in a bar. She took me home that night, and I never left! We have been married and in love with each other for 17 years now. Some people might get the idea you never sobered up ;-) Same thing with me, but I took her home. Wever been married 2 1/2 years with a 2 mo. old girl. We are totally in love and I could never be with anyone else.

[Recovering Hermit]

Yep!

[najida]

Poor baby, you win the prize for worst date.

[cjshapi]

I got dumped once in a hearse, too. I happened to be driving it (long story) and figured it was an appropriate place to have "the talk" when the guy told me it was that time.

Thank goodness I've learned to laugh at all this crap!

[ladyjane]

I know a few people - male and female - who have been quite successful using match.com. They aren't all twenty years old either. A woman I work with met her new husband that way. She was a widow and he was too (widower?) and they got married in about 6 months. Another person I work with is in a relationship with someone she met on e-harmony. They apparently specialize in Christian matchmaking. The one negative I have heard about dating services is that many of the men are married and pretend to be single.

[The Working Man]

Being separated isn't always a red flag.

In my case I was separated 8 years from my now ex-wife. It really was the absolutely best outcome I could hope for. I got to keep the kids, I managed not to get into the child-support system and in the end I got to keep my house also. A major win-win for me. In return she got her health insurance and car insurance paid by me. A damn good deal I think!

I have since remarried and my wife was separated for three years. Similar situation for her, only reversed.

It's been great being married again and we both are very happy with each other. The secret... I have absolutely no idea what it could be. It just works.

PS: We did meet online and we both had dated numerous others before we found each other.

[najida]

I had terrible results from Match.com
Eharmony is wonderful.

At this point in my life, I want a partner, a buddy, someone that I can give to and wants to give to me in return. Strangely, (unlike a lot of women my age, while I may be struggling to make ends meet), I am not out there scrambling to get married for security.

As for baggage.
Oy Vey! In my life, I have found that men have waaay more baggage than women. The stories I could tell.