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My brother, who divorced last year, has been getting deeper and deeper into debt and was recently laid off. This occurred shortly after we got our federal refund, about $3,000, all of which I already had earmarked for paying down a credit card and completing a home-improvement project. I knew my brother really needed some cash so I discussed it with my husband. We gave my brother $500. Not a loan, a gift. It seemed like a small amount at the time.

Then a big dead tree fell in our backyard. $350.

Then a raccoon made itself at home in our attic. $1,240.

Then some medical bills (which BCBS decided NOT to cover) started coming in. $1,200 and counting.

We are a single-income family. The day my husband's last paycheck was deposited, I paid our bills, balanced the checkbook, and found that we had $33 to last us the next two weeks. Something had to go, and we decided it was our Taurus. We also have a minivan but we own the Taurus outright. The car was nothing but a headache, anyway, and we got $1,000 for it, better than trade-in. This was just two days ago, and I am already beginning to remember how much I hate having just one vehicle.

Charity really does begin at home. Lesson learned.

I handle some of the finances, my husband handles the others. Being a single income family we have learned to budget and make due with what we have. A picnic at the park versus going out to eat, etc. It's rough when the bills roll in that are unexpected. We have got nailed with them all year. At times I just want to pull my hair out. LOL. But I would take the minivan (in fact we have a used one) over a lear jet if it meant that I could remain at home with my family.

I really like to read www.stretcher.com.

I handle the finances. But I wish my husband would get 'on board' with me. He doesn't pay ANY attention.

The thing that bothers me most about our expenditures is energy bills. I am concocting ways to get them down. I think some ideas are:

1)Well water
2)Tulikivi wood-burning fireplace
3)Rinnai water heating system

Sadly, we have none of these. Our energy bills are killing us at $500 a month. And this is with us being cold in winter and warm in summer. The gas bill is the worst.

I would like to build a new energy-efficient house with all of the above.

I am a widower so I handle the bills and there is only one income.Some pointers from my perspective are as follows:

Buy term insurance on both of you, get level premium 20 year term, it may seem expensive at first but your income will grow to meet it. If your health doesn't qualify for normal rates look for some of those policies that don't ask any health questions. They are not only pricier but come with 2-3 year exclusionary periods. If you outlast that, they pay

Before you set aside money for college investigate www.fafsa.ed.gov. It's the common clearing house for scholastic financial aid. The short version is your final "Expected Family Contribution" is the actual amount you will pay for college. It is based on your ability to pay. If you've saved up over 18 years you will get less than someone who has not. It sounds unfair but that's the government for you. Under Fafsa, Yale will cost only a bit more than your local state school.

Last pointer, both of you should be involved in the finances, you never know who will go first or how early, believe me, first hand experience.

We are a one income family - but it is a very good income! That said, we believe that we do not have the right to squander what we are blessed with, so we live in a modest house that is over 100 years old, I drive a 6 y.o. mini-van, my husband drives a 4 y.o. Ford, our kids clothes mostly come from the discount stores, and they have to earn money through chores to buy their toys. There are many other ways we live modestly, but I don't want this post to go on forever!

So what do we do with the money? Besides sinking it into the upkeep of our old house, we have a college account started. At our income, we will have to save because there will be no government assistance for our 3 children. (There shouldn't be either. If we cannot afford to save for their education with the income we have, we are being very selfish.) We have investments set aside for our own retirement. Neither of us believe that Social Security will be around in its current form when we retire, so we are determined to take care of ourselves. We give money to church. They in turn use it for their regular expenses plus they funnel some of it to people who need a hand. And we do have savings to fall back on if we need to.

I have to strongly second the idea that has come up here about both spouses knowing the financial situation in a family. My husband handles the money, but I know where it is going and where it is coming from!

Just back from taking two kids to the doctor ... James weighs over 17 lbs. at 4 months. Now I just have to get checkups for 5 more in the next 3 months ...

Money: I do all our financial business, dating back to the day, not long after our wedding, when I discovered my husband's pile of past-due bills. For a couple of years, he wasn't on the bank account, and for even longer, he wasn't on the credit card account, because the bank would approve ME, but not US. But that's water under the bridge ... he grew up.

I would like to have him doing the money, frankly, because then he would have to take responsibility for his spending ... so I guess I mean he grew up mostly :-), but it could be a lot worse!

Make ends meet on one income ... the big thing, which also helped us to survive a year of unemployment, is that we save on the BIG things, the house and the car. Our new house cost about half of what the bank would have approved at our income. The little van (Dodge Grand Caravan) is paid for, and Big Van (15-psgr), which cost only $18,000, will be paid off in November.

Because we pay less for the house and cars than most, much smaller, families, we can buy books when we really want them - if the library doesn't have them a year after publication! Or rent videos - but we don't have cable. We can have the DSL, which the Net-knight refused to part with, No Matter What. All the kids can go to camp. We can buy a bottle of wine when we want to.

We don't take expensive vacations ... this summer we'll go to Lake Norman, an hour away, where we've rented a house for a weekend. Total cost, other than food, which we'd buy anyway, $200. The kids will play outside, while I sit in the shade with the baby ... such excitement :-).

In summary, by avoiding many of the big costs of "keeping up" with what advertisers say we need, we're able to feed all this group AND be generous in providing what's important to us.

We just got rid of old debt so we could buy a house. But it looks like we'll need to buy a vehicle soon, since our old Suburban keeps making a tapping that my husband is worried might be another piston rod. (he rebuilt it last week because of this) We need to look for something that fits six people. Which is why I laugh when people say we should not complain about gas prices unless all drive more economical cars. Yeah! I'll just strap a couple kids to the roof or stick in the in the trunk.
I have been doing the finances forever. Which is funny, since I was never good at math. What I do every pay day (it's direct deposit) is start subtracting. This week it's tithing (every week) and half the mortgage money. What's left we can use for other things we need.
I could go on about in-laws, but it has nothing to do with money. My in-law dilemmas come from feeling left out. "Remember when we all went to blah, blah, blah, and did the sis boom bah?" No. Because we were never invited. Never knew it happened. The annoying formal family gatherings we feel obligated to go to, but the fun stuff they forget to mention. My husband doesn't notice it as much. But it irks me, since often I'll hear about cousins and aunts going too, but they can never bother to invite me. When I invite anyone out with me there is always some excuse.

Hi Ladies: Is there a ping list for Friday mom chats? I'd like to be on it, if so.

Our kids are teenagers now, so I am getting ready to go back to work part-time (very part-time) and gradually work more hours as they all go through high school. But for 18 years I have been home full time.

We started planning for me to be home full-time while we were engaged. I was working as an engineer, and when we got married we saved my salary and spent his. We also bought a very cheap house (for the time) and slowly added on to it, rather than moving into a bigger house.

We did this because a wise older woman at our church had told me before my marriage to *live on one income* even if we had two. So for some years we lived on that one income, and between that and buying a cheaper house, it was worth it.

We always made it a point to pay cash for cars. If we couldn't afford to pay cash for a new one, we bought a used one.

We haven't saved very much money for our kids' college - but to be fair, we haven't been prepared for the *huge* increases in tuition, either. In the past six or so years our instate college tuitions have *doubled.* They are still going up at 8% or so per year. I have no idea where it's going to end.

What are some of the things you have given up in order to stay afloat?

I gave up everything to stay home and raise the kids. No frills. No unnecessary clothing, no dinner/theater, no McD's, no beauty parlor, no remodeling money, etc. Movies were a rarity. I'd take them fossil hunting instead. I'd play games with them. We'd make craft projects. We'd study flowers and trees. Butterflies. I'd read to them. We'd pick berries. We baked homemade snacks rather than pay the price for bakery products. Each child helped. We went for long walks I called "Adventures." LOL Oddly, they always were. There was always something interesting to explore.

It cost me when I went back to work after the kids were in college. My resume was non-existant at that point.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat. All three are very decent human beings. All three say they'll raise their children the same way. And believe it or not, we were the envy of the neighborhood kids, even tho we lacked the latest tech gadget or bike or toy. They had everything but attention because their folks were just too busy.

It's amazing what you can cut out when you try. I'd go to the mall twice a year at most. I simply couldn't spend beyond necessities so stayed away from places that tempted me. We had money for the important things and that's it.