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Jewish Haiku
E-mail ^ | 7 May 2004 | Anonymous

Posted on 05/07/2004 3:40:37 PM PDT by Rockitz

After the warm rain the sweet smell of camellias. Did you wipe your feet?

****

Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name of her friend's disease.

*****

Today I am a man. Tomorrow I will return to the seventh grade.

****

Testing the warm milk on her wrist, she sighs softly. But her son is forty.

*****

The sparkling blue sea reminds me to wait an hour after my sandwich.

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Lacking fins or tail the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty.

*****

Like a bonsai tree, your terrible posture at my dinner table.

****

Beyond Valium, the peace of knowing one's child is an internist.

*****

Jews on safari -- map, compass, elephant gun, hard sucking candies.

*****

The same kimono the top geishas are wearing: I got it at Loehmann's.

*****

The shivah visit: So sorry about your loss. Now back to my problems.

*****

Mom, please! There is no need to put that dinner roll in your pocketbook.

*****

Seven-foot Jews in the NBA slam-dunking! My alarm clock rings.

*****

Sorry I'm not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news.

*****

Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done?

*****

Today, mild shvitzing. Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. Five-day forecast: feh

*****

Passover left the door open for the Prophet Elijah. Now our cat is gone.

*****

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah Oy! To be fluent!

*****

Quietly murmured at Saturday services, Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

*****

A lovely nose ring, excuse me while I put my head in the oven.

****

Hard to tell under the lights. White Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: haiku; jewish
Got this from Jewish friend who thought it was pretty funny. I can never tell if this kinda stuff is offensive, so hit abuse if so- none intended.
1 posted on 05/07/2004 3:40:37 PM PDT by Rockitz
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To: Rockitz
I'm not Jewish, so I don't know if it's offensive.

I do know I laughed (but then I've never been known for my "political correctness"...)
2 posted on 05/07/2004 11:18:08 PM PDT by KangarooJacqui (Australia.... halfway down the slippery slide to socialism - observe our deeds, and beware!)
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To: Rockitz
LOL! I'm not Jewish but have Jewish relatives and I think they'll like these.
3 posted on 05/08/2004 7:23:08 AM PDT by NewCenturions
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To: Rockitz
I'm Jewish.

So funny, I am plotzing!
4 posted on 05/08/2004 9:22:48 AM PDT by reformedliberal (Proud Bush-Cheney04 volunteer)
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