The Guild 4-3-2004 Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

Sour Bob ^ | Sour Bob

[Utah Girl]

Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

or, The Math of Phone Numbers

• where x is the number of girls for whose phone numbers you ask...
  
• where K is the percentage of the same-age dating population left over after you weed out the emotionally disturbed, chronically chemically-addled, intellectually unsatisfying, personality-challenged, and essentially unavailable persons...
  

• where y is the percentage of people who maintain their attractiveness in the harsh light of day, away from free-flowing drinks and neon beer lights...
  
• where z represents the rate of people who will either give you a crap number, screen your call out, or never answer your message...
  
• where b represents the likelihood that, all things being equal, either of you will continue to show interest at the time of this follow-up call...
  
• where 2 is considered to be the random-weirdness-that-can-screw-anything-up-where-dating-is-concerned factor...

Given all of this, the odds of successfully attaining a date based on a phone number attained at a bar can be expressed by the following equation:

Assuming K to be .85, figuring y to be around .5 (although it may be considerably higher if you drink heavily, or slightly lower if you don't drink at all), estimating z to be around .15, and putting b at around a two out of three chance...

Going by those numbers, you need to ask for about twelve numbers for every date you expect to get.

[Timeout]

I woke up thinking (and praying) about events in Fallujah and couldn't go back to sleep. God be with our service men and women over there!

I'm very glad we bombed that mosque yesterday. It may piss-off some people, but some people need pissing off. The bombing sends a timely message that we'll no longer let political-correctness trump the safety of our troops..like bombing during Ramadan,when the sissies all said the Arab street would riot.

I'm feeling more positive that, once this insurgency is quelled, Americans will look back and realize the Dems were 100% wrong in their assessment of the military situation. They're sounding exactly like LBJ, wringing their hands in a clear signal to the enemy that all they have to do is inflict a little more physical or emotional harm (or scary TV footage)to get us to tuck tail and boogey.

As bad as the media has been, they're at least balanced compared to the demoralized braying coming from the donkey pen. As the smoke clears I think it will be seen as THE Big Mistake for Kerry to have let Uncle Ted take the lead this week.

[Timeout]

While I'm bloviating, let me add this thought that's been rolling around my brain ever since the media started all this McCain-for-Veep chatter.

GWB should take up McCain's crusade against "corporate welfare". Adopt it, push it, put it in every speech. Pledge to reform future transportation bills to get a handle on all those special provisions. Put McCain out there as lead cheerleader. Pass the bill just before the convention.

This accomplishes several good things: It goes against the media-created illusion that GWB prefers the "rich", it addresses the deficit issue, and---most importantly---it gives McCain something to do besides sniping. It's a synergy thing.

[Timeout]

[Timeout]

Have you seen the Paris Segway tours?! It looks like a blast!

There's more info and video here:

Segway Tours

[mountaineer]

Oh my, that looks exciting! I can't believe we're leaving for France in less than four weeks. My mother was worrying for our safety, but I reminded her we're visiting the terrorists' ally.

[BigWaveBetty]

I can hear your mom's big sigh of relief all the way down here. ;-)

[BigWaveBetty]

That cartoon is the bomb! (pardon pun) You know those slugs were in the mosque praying that we continue to be the country of clinton and won't do anything that might 'enrage the Arab street', sorry boys, there's a real American in the WH now!

Every channel will be carrying Condi today, I hope the dems have plenty of Maalox on hand. And may Teddy Kenndy spontaneously explode.

I didn't know about the poverty bill McCain wants but I agree, anything to shut that pain up.

[BigWaveBetty]

The Big Box O' Easter was delivered Monday and I got the scoop on how Laney liked her goodies Grandma sent.

My daughter gave me the report as follows, Easter dress: Oh mom, it's beautiful! And it will be perfect for the wedding!! (family wedding after Easter)

Shoes: Grandma always finds the best stuff! These are so cool!

As she opens the last present, a purse: I hope it's something fashionable! It's a purse! I love it!

I still have trouble remembering Laney is only 5 years old.

[BigWaveBetty]

This Kerrey OpEd in the OPJ squelches any illusion of a Kerry/Kerrey ticket:

Mr. Clarke's most startling statement was that there have been more terrorist attacks against the United States in the 30 months since 9/11 than in the 30 months prior to the attack. You could almost hear a clap of thunder when he went on to say that this happened because we substantially reduced our efforts in Afghanistan and went to war in Iraq, causing a loss of momentum in the war against al Qaeda.

That's his argument. I think he's wrong, but I don't think he is being duplicitous. He is wrong because most if not all of the terrorism since 9/11 has occurred because al Qaeda and other radical Islamists have an even dimmer view of a free and independent Iraq than they do a free and independent United States. A democracy in Iraq that embraces modernism, pluralism, tolerance and the plebiscite is a greater sacrilege than anything we are doing here at home.

Mr. Clarke's views on Iraq notwithstanding, after 9/11 we could not afford either to run the risk that Saddam Hussein would be deterred by our military efforts to contain him or that these military deployments would become attractive targets for further acts of terrorism. I supported President Bush's efforts to persuade the United Nations Security Council to change a 10-year-old resolution that authorized force to contain Saddam Hussein to one that authorized force to replace his dictatorship. And I believe the president did the right thing to press ahead even without the Security Council's support. Remember, the June 25, 1996, attack on Khobar Towers that left 19 American airmen dead happened because of our containment efforts. Sailors had also died enforcing the Security Council's embargo and our pilots were risking their lives every day flying missions over northern and southern Iraq to protect Iraqi Kurds and Shiites.

It is my view that a political victory for terrorism in Iraq is a much greater danger to us than whether or not we succeed in capturing Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan. Victory in Iraq will embolden radical Islamists as much as our failure to recognize the original danger of their declaration of war against us. More

[Timeout]

Your "illustrious" senator (Graham) has come totally unhinged. I just saw him on Fox, saying:

"He (Bush) set an arbitrary date of June 30th...when all our troops will be out of there. That told the insurgents exactly how long they had to just lie low and wait for us to be gone."

How can one man be so wrong?
1) Our troops aren't leaving on June 30th.
2) Does he call what's going on over there right now "lying low"?

[BigWaveBetty]

Thankfully I missed it or I might have lost my breakfast. It's sad to watch a person slip into dementia, especially on national TV and God help us, he is still on the intel committee.

Bill McCollum is the one I would like to see take his seat.

From 'Losing bin Laden': McCollum (ran for senate in 2000 and lost to Nelson) was the founder and chairman of the House Taskforce on Terrorism and Unconventional Warfare. During the 1990's McCollum's task force became a valuable repository of information on terrorism, at a time when few in Washington were paying attention. Today the taskforce reports seem eerily prescient. And Congressman McCollum had valuable human intelligence. [snip]...McCollum was doomed to be Clinton's Cassandra, a prophet whose warning were ignored.

[lodwick]

Best thoughts on your feline friend.

Endeavor was a vet in a previous life.

[BigWaveBetty]

Condoleezza will win the hearts of every soccer/security mom able to view this hearing.

I'm so glad the WH put up a fuss about Condi testifying, it's such big news now every broadcast channel is carrying it. :-) And btw, rerun on c-span at 8pm this evening.

It will be most interesting to see how the Chris Matthews of the media will contort to try and make Condi less believable than Clarke. ahahahaha!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I am watching Condi on CSpan.

Without losing my temper, all I can say is 'BEN VENISTA IS A POOP!!!'

[BigWaveBetty]

Ben Venista, poopy head.

[Endeavor]

Timeout,

tell me about your kitty:

age
gender/spayed/neutered?
inside or outside or both?
vaccination history
symptoms
any diagnostics done to date for these symptoms?
etc.
Happy to help - E

[lodwick]

[mountaineer]

Well, that certainly is a manly pose, reminiscent of the time Frazier Crane had to remind his wimpy brother, Niles, that when making a fist, the thumb goes on the outside.

I bet Teresa knows how to make a fist, though - and use it.

[lodwick]

Dude is giving algore a run for most manly...

Where's Naomi when she's really, really needed?

[Endeavor]

Well, my mouth is still open on this one: http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/