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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
email | 01/22/3004 | I dunno

Posted on 01/22/2004 12:26:31 PM PST by BJClinton

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Golden Retriever
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler
Make me.

Lab
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

German Shepherd
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark , checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Maltese
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman
While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb

Irish Wolfhound
Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.

Pointer
I see it, there it is. There it is, right there.

Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.

Old English Sheep Dog
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

Hound Dog
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz*z*z*z*.z*.z*.z*

CAT
Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS:
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To: xJones
I was kidding about the "Basque for pig, or sumpthin"...

I assumed, I just wanted to appear knowledgeable. I love Google.
21 posted on 01/22/2004 1:05:27 PM PST by BJClinton (Vote Democrat, it's easier than thinking.)
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To: Orangedog
You seem to have a misunderstanding on the nature of cats. You see dogs have always had a master/servant relationship with humans but cats where worshipped as gods by the ancient Egyptians and have never gotten over it. :)
22 posted on 01/22/2004 1:05:31 PM PST by Bacon Man (Bacon is never wrong but occasionally fried.)
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To: BJClinton
Are you sure it's actually a dog?

,,, yep. The cat's sure too. Did you see a movie called "As good as it gets", with Jack Nicholson in it? The little dog they used in that movie looks just like my one. Lots of character.

23 posted on 01/22/2004 1:14:53 PM PST by shaggy eel
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To: Orangedog
That depends a lot on the particular cat in question. One of my current feline threesome would just take up a lot more space, as he lies on the sofa on his back soliciting tummy rubs.
24 posted on 01/22/2004 1:31:01 PM PST by GovernmentShrinker
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To: Orangedog
What a dog is thinking:
These things feed me every day, take care of all my needs, provide me shelter, pet me...They must be gods!

What a cat is thinking:
These things feed me every day, take care of all my needs, provide me shelter, pet me...I must be a god!

25 posted on 01/22/2004 1:37:51 PM PST by Onelifetogive
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To: BJClinton
Lab Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

That pretty much captures the older of my Labs. The younger one would be more inclined to say "How bout if I lay here on my dog bed while my brother, the ever eager retriever, shows me how to do it, at which point the bulb will be changed, so there will be no need for me needlessly to bestir myself."

26 posted on 01/22/2004 2:10:22 PM PST by blau993 (Labs for love; .357 for Security.)
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To: BJClinton
Australian Cattle Dog:
I won't change it until I get all the bulbs herded into one section of the pen
27 posted on 01/22/2004 3:21:56 PM PST by Rightly Biased (<><)
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To: xsmommy; secret garden
*ping
28 posted on 01/22/2004 3:30:55 PM PST by CholeraJoe (Currahee! 3 miles up, 3 miles down. Hi Yo, Silver!)
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To: CholeraJoe
where's my baby on the list?
29 posted on 01/22/2004 3:41:54 PM PST by xsmommy
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To: CholeraJoe
I have a Westie mix....

Westie

"Oh, happy, happy, there is a bulb that brings light and it's so cool that someone will see that it is always on so I can see all these neat people around me to love."

30 posted on 01/22/2004 3:43:45 PM PST by greyfoxx39
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To: xJones
I was kidding about the "Basque for pig, or sumpthin" but Hairball loves people and he loves eating...

==========================================

I remember a cute story someone told me or I read about many,many moons ago:

The man comes in to see the vet. "Doc," he says," you gotta do something. It's my folks and their dog. It's one of these little dog...I don't know what kind but they're spoiling it to death! My mother even makes this mutt his own dinner! I mean lamb chops, potatoes, green beans..banana cream pie...And my dad's always feeding him snacks, carrying him around... I mean, it's, like their baby, but they're killing it!..You gotta talk to them,doc!"

So the vet said "Sure, bring them in."

A few minutes in comes der Mama und der Papa und "der Baby"....who looks like a little walking bowling ball.

The flabbergasted vet really scolds the old couple. " "...(yada,yada,yada)...and if you don't get that dog on a strict diet starting right now he's going to be dead in 6 months!"

Whereupon, der Mama and der Papa looked down at der Baby, who looked back up at them with those big lollipop eyes. "Well," said der Mama, "at least he'll die happy."

31 posted on 01/22/2004 3:47:14 PM PST by yankeedame ("Oh, I can take it but I'd much rather dish it out.")
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To: BJClinton
Weimeraner:

CRASH! Pop! Yipe! Woof! Woof! WoofWoofWoof!

32 posted on 01/22/2004 4:57:18 PM PST by archy (Angiloj! Mia kusenveturilo estas plena da angiloj!)
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To: BJClinton
That sums up my Lab exactly.

As for the cat though, she would more than likely be thinking...Who cares about the light bulb, I can see just fine in the dark thank you very much.

33 posted on 01/23/2004 5:49:38 AM PST by EuroFrog (All your newbies are belong to us.)
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To: Orangedog
My cat is very loyal to me. I call her, she comes. She does not like other people and never has in her 9 years. Any time I lay down, be it for the night or a nap, she is right there laying with me. She loves to snuggle under the covers. My last cat was the exact same way. Might be something to do with gray cats.....
34 posted on 01/23/2004 5:55:45 AM PST by EuroFrog (All your newbies are belong to us.)
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To: BJClinton
Thanks for the laugh.
35 posted on 01/23/2004 6:03:22 AM PST by kassie (Don't Mess With The U.S.)
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To: BJClinton
no comparison, how many housecats are big enough to seriously hurt a person?
36 posted on 01/23/2004 9:48:17 AM PST by Joshh86 (Ayn rand had it right)
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To: BJClinton
Alaskan sled dog: Theres a bulb to change? YES YES YESYESYESYESYES ECT.
37 posted on 01/23/2004 9:52:30 AM PST by Joshh86 (Ayn rand had it right)
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To: BJClinton
If you make the Lab change the light bulb too many times, he'll keep it in his mouth and won't give it back.
38 posted on 01/23/2004 10:48:52 AM PST by JoeSchem
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To: Hap
Ping!
39 posted on 01/26/2004 9:17:16 AM PST by Bacon Man (Bacon is never wrong but occasionally fried.)
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