Posted on 01/22/2004 12:26:31 PM PST by BJClinton
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Golden Retriever
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund
You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler
Make me.
Lab
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
German Shepherd
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark , checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Maltese
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier
I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Poodle
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cocker Spaniel
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman
While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Boxer
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb
Irish Wolfhound
Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.
Pointer
I see it, there it is. There it is, right there.
Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Old English Sheep Dog
Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Hound Dog
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz*z*z*z*.z*.z*.z*
CAT
Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
,,, yep. The cat's sure too. Did you see a movie called "As good as it gets", with Jack Nicholson in it? The little dog they used in that movie looks just like my one. Lots of character.
What a cat is thinking:
These things feed me every day, take care of all my needs, provide me shelter, pet me...I must be a god!
That pretty much captures the older of my Labs. The younger one would be more inclined to say "How bout if I lay here on my dog bed while my brother, the ever eager retriever, shows me how to do it, at which point the bulb will be changed, so there will be no need for me needlessly to bestir myself."
Westie
"Oh, happy, happy, there is a bulb that brings light and it's so cool that someone will see that it is always on so I can see all these neat people around me to love."
==========================================
I remember a cute story someone told me or I read about many,many moons ago:
The man comes in to see the vet. "Doc," he says," you gotta do something. It's my folks and their dog. It's one of these little dog...I don't know what kind but they're spoiling it to death! My mother even makes this mutt his own dinner! I mean lamb chops, potatoes, green beans..banana cream pie...And my dad's always feeding him snacks, carrying him around... I mean, it's, like their baby, but they're killing it!..You gotta talk to them,doc!"
So the vet said "Sure, bring them in."
A few minutes in comes der Mama und der Papa und "der Baby"....who looks like a little walking bowling ball.
The flabbergasted vet really scolds the old couple. " "...(yada,yada,yada)...and if you don't get that dog on a strict diet starting right now he's going to be dead in 6 months!"
Whereupon, der Mama and der Papa looked down at der Baby, who looked back up at them with those big lollipop eyes. "Well," said der Mama, "at least he'll die happy."
CRASH! Pop! Yipe! Woof! Woof! WoofWoofWoof!
As for the cat though, she would more than likely be thinking...Who cares about the light bulb, I can see just fine in the dark thank you very much.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.