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Tiny fossil found to have the world's oldest known penis
The Independent (U.K.) ^ | 12/05/03 | Steve Connor

Posted on 12/04/2003 2:00:55 PM PST by Pokey78

A tiny fossil of a creature that lived some 425 million years ago has entered the record books as the oldest unequivocally male animal. The organism, which resembles a cross between a shrimp and a clam, sports a large penis which has been perfectly preserved in three dimensions.

David Siveter, professor of palaeontology at Leicester University, said there was no doubt the fossilised creature was a male, making it the oldest unambiguous member of its sex.

Professor Siveter said the fossil was found at a site in Herefordshire where soft body parts of ancient creatures have been perfectly preserved by being buried in volcanic ash before being rapidly mineralised within rocky nodules.

The animal, whose Latin name Colymbosathon ecplecticos means "swimmer with a large penis", is just 5mm (2/10ths of an inch) long and a member of a group of crustaceans known as the ostracods, crustaceans like crabs and lobsters and the most complex organisms studied within the field of micropalaeontology.

Three-dimensional images of the fossil, in the journal Science, were constructed by the scientists who carefully ground away layers of the rock while photographing polished cross-sections of the fossil as they went. One of the most intriguing aspects of the study was the discovery that the basic body plan of the 425 million-year-old ostracod looks essentially the same as the body plan of present-day ostracods, Professor Siveter said.

"The ground plan of the fossil strikingly resembles living groups of ostracods which shows the pace of evolutionary change has not been particularly fast," he said.

The copulatory organ of the fossilised male is "large and stout" which indicates that "maybe size mattered" for the ancient ostracods, he added.

"This is a male and there must have been females around. The discovery tells us something about the biology of reproduction; it provides unequivocal evidence for sex in an animal that lived in the Silurian age," he added.

In addition to the penis, the scientists were able to trace the animal's entire digestive tract from mouth to anus as well as study anatomical details such as its six pairs of gills and the limbs it used for sensing, feeding and swimming.

"The whole animal is amazing," Professor Siveter added. "We've got something we could only dream about before."


TOPICS: Humor
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1 posted on 12/04/2003 2:00:56 PM PST by Pokey78
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To: Pokey78
Older than Larry King's?
2 posted on 12/04/2003 2:01:39 PM PST by Dr.Deth
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To: Pokey78; Admin Moderator
Please don't move this to chat......this should be good.
3 posted on 12/04/2003 2:02:59 PM PST by Dog (George W. Bush - - - -" Avenger of the Bones..")
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To: Pokey78
This can't be true!!! Can it?
4 posted on 12/04/2003 2:03:10 PM PST by WinOne4TheGipper (I don't suffer from insanity. I'm enjoying every moment of it.)
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To: Pokey78
"The whole animal is amazing," Professor Siveter added. "We've got something we could only dream about before."

Uh huh. (Breaks eye contact, and backs innocently away....)

5 posted on 12/04/2003 2:03:16 PM PST by r9etb
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To: Pokey78
"swimmer with a large penis",

Ah, they couldn't be talking about Ted the Swimmer then.

6 posted on 12/04/2003 2:03:18 PM PST by EggsAckley (..................."Dean's got Tom McClintock Eyes".........................)
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To: Pokey78
A gold star to the best joke:)
7 posted on 12/04/2003 2:03:47 PM PST by Sabatier
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To: Pokey78
Should be named "Colymbosathon clintonitos."
8 posted on 12/04/2003 2:04:02 PM PST by pabianice
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To: Dr.Deth
The animal, whose Latin name Colymbosathon ecplecticos means "swimmer with a large penis", Uh...
9 posted on 12/04/2003 2:04:12 PM PST by Dog (George W. Bush - - - -" Avenger of the Bones..")
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To: Pokey78
"This is a male and there must have been females around. The discovery tells us something about the biology of reproduction

Yep, that's why they pay you the big bucks, Doc.

10 posted on 12/04/2003 2:04:34 PM PST by KellyAdmirer
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To: Pokey78
"Upon closer inspection, experts reported that the animal had a tiny cigarette hanging out of his mouth."
11 posted on 12/04/2003 2:04:59 PM PST by EggsAckley (..................."Dean's got Tom McClintock Eyes".........................)
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To: Pokey78
swimmer with a large penis

Must have been a large, one eyed trouser trout.

12 posted on 12/04/2003 2:05:39 PM PST by leadpencil1 (Kill your television)
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To: Pokey78
Surely its parents must be proud.....
13 posted on 12/04/2003 2:06:28 PM PST by tracer
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To: Pokey78
Colymbosathon ecplecticos means "swimmer with a large penis"
It evidently didn't live in cold water ...
14 posted on 12/04/2003 2:06:51 PM PST by eastsider
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To: EggsAckley
Ah, they couldn't be talking about Ted the Swimmer then.

No. Having one and being one are two different things.

15 posted on 12/04/2003 2:07:01 PM PST by TomServo ("That felt good... Now I'm going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck.")
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To: Pokey78
A tiny fossil... of a penis.

One scientist who who examined the fossil said, "its the earliest known evidence of the Irish curse."

16 posted on 12/04/2003 2:07:29 PM PST by Labyrinthos
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To: PoorMuttly
that lived some 425 million years ago has entered the record books

,,, penetrating record books after that amount of time! Femynists have more worries than they thought.

17 posted on 12/04/2003 2:07:55 PM PST by shaggy eel
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To: martin_fierro
...You're usually on these by now
18 posted on 12/04/2003 2:08:33 PM PST by ErnBatavia (Taglineus Interruptus)
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To: shaggy eel
Have they found a matching cushion?
19 posted on 12/04/2003 2:09:36 PM PST by ErnBatavia (Taglineus Interruptus)
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To: ErnBatavia
,,, maybe Cushions-R-Us weren't around back then. I bet they'll discover a garage for it to park in though.
20 posted on 12/04/2003 2:13:21 PM PST by shaggy eel
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