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New Underground Railroad Established To Help Lone Black Juror Escape From Angry White Liberals In The North
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/18/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/18/2026 12:40:39 PM PDT by DFG

PLYMOUTH, MA β€” Reports indicated that a modern "Underground Railroad" had been established to help the lone black juror from the Lindsay Clancy case escape from angry, violent, white Democrats.

Though shrouded in secrecy, the new Underground Railroad would purportedly use checkpoints along the Atlantic coast to help shepherd the black man away from the thousands of white Northern liberals who have threatened him with violence.

"We've got to get him to the South," said an operative, on condition of anonymity. "He'll be safe if he can just get below that Mason-Dixon line. The Republicans won't let anyone touch him. It's not going to be easy, though. There are mobs of bloodthirsty white liberals all over the North, looking for a lynching. And the feminists. Dear Lord, the feminists. He's secure right now, but we've got our work cut out for us."

Volunteers had reportedly prepared to hide the juror in houses, church basements, and Chick-fil-A stockrooms along the escape route. "We've got our people looking out for any sign of danger, like a shirt saying 'Love Is Love' or 'Believe All Women,'" explained a pastor working the trail. "It's a little different direction from the old Railroad, but it's still black people fleeing angry white Democrats who want to do them harm and force them to do their bidding. Some things never change, I guess."

At publishing time, the juror had reportedly made it safely across the Pennsylvania border after narrowly escaping a mob carrying "BE KIND" signs.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: juror; masondixon; undergroundrailroad

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1 posted on 09/18/2026 12:40:39 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Where is Elon Musk and The Boring Company in this?

Follow the money!


2 posted on 09/18/2026 12:54:42 PM PDT by null and void (Iran Pres Masoud Pezeshkian: β€œCommon sense is a good thing ... Common sense is really a good thing.")
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To: DFG
"We've got to get him to the South,"

The Bee is one step ahead of me. I was figuring if they used the original Underground Railroad destination of Canada, he would be killed by leftists as soon as he crossed the border.

3 posted on 09/18/2026 1:02:12 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If the Islamic Republic government is in power in Iran when the war is over, we will have lost.)
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To: DFG

Good post..

My son worked ifor Bechtel n Saudi a long time ago, setting up the Saudi IT system. He learned a little Arabic and storekeepers learned a little English. At this level, things were done and done well. That was a less complicated time.

Today, I’m glad I live close enough to walk to Safeway and Trader Joe.


4 posted on 09/18/2026 1:12:59 PM PDT by Veto! ((Whatever it is, I'm against it.})
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To: Veto!

OOOps, responding to wrong post. The Underground Railroad does not go to Saudi Arabia. Al least not now.


5 posted on 09/18/2026 1:15:22 PM PDT by Veto! ((Whatever it is, I'm against it.})
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To: null and void
There are mobs of bloodthirsty white liberals all over the North, looking for a lynching. And the feminists. Dear Lord, the feminists. He's secure right now, but we've got our work cut out for us."

Volunteers had reportedly prepared to hide the juror in houses, church basements, and Chick-fil-A stockrooms along the escape route.

We can keep him safe for now, but that evil man - George Soros - will be sending out his dogs soon. Pray for this brave young Republican black man... he needs all our prayers.

6 posted on 09/18/2026 1:30:02 PM PDT by GOPJ (The AI/Data Center Crap is a "Global Warming" type lie to scare voters - pushed by corrupt 'elites')
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To: GOPJ

George Soros should be in prison.


7 posted on 09/18/2026 1:40:38 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: DFG

Gotta love The Bee!


8 posted on 09/18/2026 1:43:05 PM PDT by Dr. Franklin ("A republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: DFG

πŸ‘


9 posted on 09/18/2026 1:57:48 PM PDT by griswold3 (Truth, Beauty and Goodness)
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To: DFG

LOL! The bee strikes again.


10 posted on 09/18/2026 2:05:16 PM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: DFG

LOL! Bees pollinate.


11 posted on 09/18/2026 2:18:40 PM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: Veto!
"The Underground Railroad does not go to Saudi Arabia"

Hahaha. When that tunnel is built, the traffic will all be coming to America. Indonesians, Malaysians, Filipinos, all escaping from their Arab Slavers in Saudi. You made a funny mis-post, but still appropriate.

12 posted on 09/18/2026 2:36:15 PM PDT by KitJ (Shall not be infringed...)
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To: DFG

Great post, thank you.

The Bee slays me every time.


13 posted on 09/18/2026 2:37:04 PM PDT by KitJ (Shall not be infringed...)
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To: No name given

Worse than prision


14 posted on 09/18/2026 2:42:59 PM PDT by cowboyusa (YESHUA IS KING OF AMERICA!)
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To: DFG

No joke. This will make a good school lesson for the next 100 black history months.


15 posted on 09/18/2026 3:20:52 PM PDT by Arkady
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To: DFG

zing! that was a good one


16 posted on 09/18/2026 3:40:23 PM PDT by wafflehouse ("there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon" -Alice's Restaurant Massacree)
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To: DFG

.


17 posted on 09/18/2026 3:59:31 PM PDT by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi .issue vor in)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; BraveMan; cardinal4; ...
πŸ™‚πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜πŸ˜€πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

18 posted on 09/18/2026 10:10:54 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (TDS -- it's not just for DNC shills and jihadists anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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To: DFG
At publishing time, the juror had reportedly made it safely across the Pennsylvania border after narrowly escaping a mob carrying "BE KIND" signs.

We laugh - but liberals have murdered our people in the past - and there's no reason to think they won't go after this good man.

19 posted on 09/19/2026 7:01:48 AM PDT by GOPJ (MSNOW and CNN are NOT 'the press' or even 'journalists'. They're butt boys for the democrat party.)
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