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Newsom: 'We Finna Teach Da Homies To Talk Black English Yo'
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/10/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/11/2026 4:02:54 AM PDT by DFG

SACRAMENTO, CA — Following reports that activists were pushing the introduction of Black English in California preschools, Governor Gavin Newsom proudly proclaimed: "We finna teach da' homies Black English, yo!"

The California governor confirmed that he has many black friends and, as such, wanted to make Black English a centerpiece to every child's educational experience. "Because we want every child to learn to communicate with our black brothers and sisters, ya dig?" he said.

California Department of Education officials were initially hesitant to add Black English to the preschool curriculum, but completely caved once Newsom showed how fluent he was in Ebonics.

"I grew up in a po' black neighborhood, an' I know exactly what it mean to be a slave, dat's why we all gotta speak jive," Newsom said. "I'm totally like y'all, man, fo' real. I ain't rich, I'm a erryday governor just tryna make ends meet."

At publishing time, California's ranking in English test scores dropped to the lowest in the nation, even lower than that of rural West Virginia.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; blackenglish; california; education; gavinnewsom; ispeakjive; missidaho; racism

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1 posted on 07/11/2026 4:02:55 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Almost got stung.

Sounds just like something that idiot would do to drag society down even further than it already is.


2 posted on 07/11/2026 4:31:01 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it won't leave!)
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To: DFG

Woont dat be raciss?

Now he wants to make it harder for them to become employed.....ifn dey caint speaks da langige, how dey gonna does dere jobs?


3 posted on 07/11/2026 4:54:08 AM PDT by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: DFG

I started to take this seriously — because it actually is believable. Then ... 🐝


4 posted on 07/11/2026 5:26:13 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam ( "Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away". - B. Franklin)
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To: DFG

You have to cup your hand a swing your arm for the jive effect as you use Black English ?.

If in a car use the Detriot lean when using it ?.


5 posted on 07/11/2026 5:45:05 AM PDT by Vaduz (NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
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To: DFG

“”SACRAMENTO, CA — Following reports that activists were pushing the introduction of Black English in California preschools, Governor Gavin Newsom proudly proclaimed: “We finna teach da’ homies Black English, yo!”””

***

While satire, this is actually reality-based. Newscum will just naturally go along with this initiative, since he is a card-carrying leftist willing to do and say ANYthing that will get him elected. In ultra-woke California, this just might do the trick for him, despite the fact that blacks make up only around 6% of California’s population.

The irony is, of course, that the educational system in California would be much better served if they focused on teaching ENGLISH to students there, instead of other leftist-based idiocy. But then, that would be way too logical.... and therefore, non-leftist thinking. Nevermind.


“Leftist California group pushes to add ‘Black English’ to schools’ multilingual education program

Black Californians United for Early Care and Education (BlackECE) is a “collaborative partnership of organizations committed to advancing language justice for Black children in early childhood education.” Those groups include Californians Together, Catalyst California and Early Edge.”

https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/articles/leftist-california-group-pushes-add-152445873.html


6 posted on 07/11/2026 5:46:33 AM PDT by Danie_2023 (I'm America First, but I stand by Israel and against 'anyone' that acts against America or Israel.)
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To: trebb

Shhhhhitt, yu mofo be talkin’ smack.


7 posted on 07/11/2026 5:57:38 AM PDT by volare737 ( Diversity is something to be overcome, not celebrated. )
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To: DFG

Paging Barbara Billingsley!


8 posted on 07/11/2026 6:06:48 AM PDT by Tom Tetroxide (Psalm 146:3 "Do not trust in princes, in the Son of Man, who has no salvation.")
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To: DFG

They got me! I immediately thought of the “Spanglish” movement years ago


9 posted on 07/11/2026 6:15:48 AM PDT by FatherofFive (We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor)
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To: FatherofFive

Esperano?


10 posted on 07/11/2026 6:18:56 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam ( "Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away". - B. Franklin)
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To: DFG

11 posted on 07/11/2026 6:28:30 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo )
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To: DFG
A case study

Boo Got Shot

12 posted on 07/11/2026 6:35:20 AM PDT by OldHarbor
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To: DFG
The Bee is getting less satirical by the day. :)

Everyone will be amazed at the MSM-led rehabilitation of Newsom that is going to take place in 2027, after he leaves office. By the time the primaries start, he will be universally portrayed as a flag-wrapped superhero.

13 posted on 07/11/2026 6:40:55 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
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To: DFG

I’m half way through, and then I check. The Bee stung me again.


14 posted on 07/11/2026 7:18:32 AM PDT by healy61
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To: DFG
Laugh away. This story is based on truth (like most of the Babylon Bee's reports):

Daily Mail, July, 7th 2026:

Woke activists push for 'Black English' to be taught in Democrat state's preschools to combat 'harmful language hierarchies'

"Supporters say teaching the dialect, also known as African American English (AAE) or African American Vernacular English (AAVE), will help 'combat harmful language hierarchies.'"

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15959653/california-black-english-taught-preschool-ashley-williams.html

I'm sure employers will fall all over one another - well, those few that are left in California, when a resume comes in written in black English.

15 posted on 07/11/2026 7:56:58 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolution?)
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To: DFG
My bilingual response to the Bee.

1) I am shocked that the Bee would satirize a serious educational action like this.

2) Oh No U Di'n't!!!

16 posted on 07/11/2026 9:06:35 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (If the Islamic Republic government is in power in Iran when the war is over, we will have lost.)
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To: DFG

Shouldnt the language be Swahili ???


17 posted on 07/11/2026 9:41:02 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: trebb

WHAT JOBS?????

NONE OF THEM WANT TO ACTUALLY WORK——


18 posted on 07/11/2026 10:01:12 AM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: DFG

“Y’all fidna gestroy da Erf!”


19 posted on 07/11/2026 12:05:58 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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