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Pelosi Condemns Soldier For Conducting Insider Trading Without Telling Her First
Babylon Bee ^ | 04/24/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/24/2026 10:06:34 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A furious Representative Nancy Pelosi condemned an American soldier for engaging in insider trading without telling her first.

The Special Forces soldier, who used inside knowledge of Maduro's planned capture to make a fortune trading on Polymarket, is accused of completely failing to loop the longtime congresswoman and former Speaker of the House in on the trade beforehand.

"I am completely appalled that a soldier would use his inside knowledge to score a nice profit without me," said Pelosi. "Not sending me this hot tip ahead of time reflects a complete lack of integrity and sound judgment. We have a deep ethical problem when our military would stoop so low as to reap a 1,000% profit without letting us in on the trade."

Lawmakers from both sides of the aisle echoed Pelosi's sentiment, denouncing the soldier for not disclosing his inside knowledge to them. "We can't have just anyone profiting off privileged information," said one senior lawmaker. "That's our thing. It's disgusting that this soldier would deign to do such a thing without getting Congress in on the action."

At publishing time, Pelosi had reportedly placed a $70,000 Polymarket bet on the soldier's court-martial.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; insidertrading; pelosi; polymarket
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1 posted on 04/24/2026 10:06:34 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG
Burn GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY

2 posted on 04/24/2026 10:10:48 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (Import the third world. Become the second world.)
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To: DFG

Good ol’ Nazi Polizei. The Handmaiden Tails went after Cash Patel because of the color of his skin but never demanded Polizei be required to take drug tests before she was allowed to bring in to the House her 50 pound gavel that she uses at home on her husband.


3 posted on 04/24/2026 10:17:20 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Have an ICE day! Support ICE and CBP. )
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To: DFG

😂


4 posted on 04/24/2026 10:18:10 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization? )
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To: DFG

What about the commie RATS taking bets on their “special elections” when they have already been set to be stolen?


5 posted on 04/24/2026 10:24:51 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Have an ICE day! Support ICE and CBP. )
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To: DFG

Well, rules are rules.


6 posted on 04/24/2026 10:25:56 AM PDT by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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To: DFG

She probably is not on Polymarket but you can bet the farm that she is making millions on whatever the latest war action is.


7 posted on 04/24/2026 10:34:43 AM PDT by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminisheRs the human spirit.)
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To: DFG

Clever gag.

Recent update to net worth of the Pelosi couple:

...estimated net worth frequently cited between $250 million and over $400 million, largely driven by a portfolio of tech stocks and real estate investments managed by Paul Pelosi....

—Investopedia site.


8 posted on 04/24/2026 10:54:17 AM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: DFG

I think our military should be encouraged to bet on the mission they’re about to engage in. They give 100% effort every time they go out, but a big pot of gold (so to speak) on a successful outing will bring 110%. Same idea as a decent tip encourages good service.


9 posted on 04/24/2026 10:56:39 AM PDT by ryderann
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To: frank ballenger

Pelosi may pull an Omar and amend her net worth down to $1.98


10 posted on 04/24/2026 11:18:04 AM PDT by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: DFG

I am completely appalled that a soldier would use his inside knowledge to score a nice profit without me.
******************************


11 posted on 04/24/2026 11:38:44 AM PDT by Vaduz (NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
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To: DFG

“Where my piece?”


12 posted on 04/24/2026 11:39:11 AM PDT by Vision (“Our Democracy” means "Our Slush Fund." The Left is hate.)
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To: DFG

ROFLAMO!!


13 posted on 04/24/2026 11:41:15 AM PDT by jpl ("You are fake news.")
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To: DFG

Congress hates competition.


14 posted on 04/24/2026 12:28:34 PM PDT by Antihero101607
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