Posted on 04/14/2026 2:15:59 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the sudden resignation of California Representative Eric Swalwell over sexual assault charges, analysts speculated that there were now just 534 perverts remaining in the United States Congress.
According to political experts, there are typically 535 perverts in Congress at any given time, with 435 perverts in the House, and 100 perverts in the Senate. However, the temporary vacancy left by Swalwell's departure has left Congress with the unusual number of 534 total perverts.
"This is not as many pervs as we're used to around here," said Congressional aide Tracy Johnson. "Usually, every office I walk by houses a debased pervert, but now there's this one empty office where a dangerous pervert used to be. It's just not the same."
California Governor Gavin Newsom vowed to find a pervert to fill Swalwell's seat as soon as possible. "We've narrowed our search down to a few really sick, twisted pervs," said Newsom. "We aren't going to rush, as we want to make sure we have the right pervert in place. At the same time, the people of California deserve to have a quick election so that they are not left without a criminal degenerate representing their interests."
At publishing time, the departure of Texas Representative Tony Gonzales had brought the number of perverts down to the unprecedentedly low total of 533.
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Uhh. What about Tony Gonzalez? He’s a pervert who drove his assistant to suicide by self immolation . And he resigned today.
I’m sure the tit-for-tat was pre-arranged.
Investigative Classics: Sen. Bob Packwood’s Serial Sex Abuse, 1992
Not liking the perverts but It is the thieving part that bothers me most.
Yep that’s how it works.
History in the making.
The great congressional pervert shortage of 2026!
There are a lot
Much higher than average
His most telling utterance is about faking it
No core
They just say what gets the power
Likely clickbait podcasters
I still don’t get being on a bed with one girl and 3 or more stuff Johnsons in proximity sharing body fluids
It’s gay isn’t it?
Washington, DC: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Yep, CONgre$$ filled perverts, criminals, liars and thieves. Much higher percentages than the general population.
It's unmanly, for sure.
"Governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible".
My number one truth of life: The worst of the worst want to be politicians first .
Reagan said, “They say that politics is the World’s Second Oldest Profession. I have found it bears a striking resemblance to the First.”
The non-voting members from the various US territories and DC are celebrating. Babylon Bee has decreed that they are not perverts.
“Eric ‘Blackjack...and Hookers’ Swalwell”
👍
No worries, we’ve got another one coming back!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15730017/Republican-love-21-year-old-sex-tape-male.html
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