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Mayor Orders Prosecution of ICE Officers [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 February 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/09/2026 10:11:16 AM PST by John Semmens

Mayor Brandon Johnson (D-Chicago) issued an executive order directing City Police to monitor ICE enforcement officers and look for potential felonies that could be prosecuted. He justified this order, saying "our state and city are sanctuaries for illegal immigrants. ICE is invading us in an attempt to negate our sovereignty over the areas we rule. We have a right to resist and repel this invasion."

Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill) praised Johnson's "aggressive defense of his city from the unwanted ICE invasion. I know the Trump Administration has emphasized that its focus is on so-called 'criminal illegal aliens'--those that supposedly have committed crimes other than illegally crossing our borders. Even if that were true, our sanctuary includes ALL persons being pursued by ICE. Because of their illegal status, normal employment opportunities are scarce. As a result selling illegal drugs, robbery, rape, and murder have become part of their lifestyle. If the ICE harassment would stop, these individuals could adopt more peaceful ways of life."

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt pointed out that "the surge of law enforcement into Chicago in the Fall of 2025 resulted in significant reductions in crime. Homicides declined by 30%, robberies by 35%, and carjackings by 50%. On top of this, more than 2,000 criminal illegal aliens were deported. Most sane people would be happy with these results. Why Governor Pritzker and Mayor Brandon are not remains a mystery to normal people."

In even more disturbing news, Long Beach, California mayoral candidate Rogelio Martinez called for "the 55 gang leaders in this community to help me take back the city from the ICE invaders. I am specifically asking Latino, Cambodian, Filipino, Black, and Pacific Islander gangs to meet me in person to plan our resistance to ICE operations in the city. I need your strength, support and leadership skills. If you love Long Beach like I do let's show the world what a real loving community looks like." It is hard to imagine that calling on criminals who conduct gunfights over who will control the market for illegal drugs and prostitutes, extort local businesses, and terrorize residents would motivate voters to elect this moron to be the city's next mayor.


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: chicago; longbeach; postandrun; pritzker; satire; selfpromotion
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1 posted on 02/09/2026 10:11:16 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

ICE enforcement officers are a higher rank than you Brandon ,LOL


2 posted on 02/09/2026 10:12:26 AM PST by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: John Semmens

Sorry, but immigration is a federal responsibility. Now step aside.


3 posted on 02/09/2026 10:15:05 AM PST by Petrosius
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To: John Semmens
directing City Police to monitor ICE enforcement officers and look for potential felonies that could be prosecuted.

I suspect that 90%+ of city police officers will ignore this and be offended by it, even in an extremely Blue city like Chicago. Pitting law enforcement officers against each other is vile.

4 posted on 02/09/2026 10:16:16 AM PST by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: John Semmens

Trump is handling it correct, by allowing blue cities to go to hell because of their policies. Bodies have to hit the floor before these cities will change.


5 posted on 02/09/2026 10:19:25 AM PST by Jonty30 (I always ask AI stupid questions to avoid the smart lists for elimination. I want to surprise it.)
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To: butlerweave
Rogelio Martinez called for "the 55 gang leaders...

This vato es muy loco===>https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2384209188672249">
6 posted on 02/09/2026 10:20:42 AM PST by know.your.why
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To: John Semmens
He justified this order, saying "our state and city are sanctuaries for illegal immigrants. ICE is invading us in an attempt to negate our sovereignty over the areas we rule.

How can anyone NOT see everything wrong with that statement?

7 posted on 02/09/2026 10:23:52 AM PST by pfflier
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To: John Semmens

Johnson needs his ass prosecuted also for interfering in the business of federal law enforcement agents. Prosecute his mangy butt and then deport his azz. I’m getting tired of his big mouth always going off from that idiot looking pointy headed skull.


8 posted on 02/09/2026 10:25:54 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer
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To: John Semmens
"ICE is invading us in an attempt to negate our sovereignty over the areas we rule. We have a right to resist and repel this invasion."

Hey, mayor, Chicago is not a sovereign nation. You are a moron and an insurrectionist.
9 posted on 02/09/2026 10:27:21 AM PST by Steve_Seattle1
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To: John Semmens
" . . . our state and city are sanctuaries for illegal immigrants."

Mayor, whatever happened to, "No one is above the law!!!"? You are aiding and abetting lawbreakers.
10 posted on 02/09/2026 10:30:35 AM PST by Steve_Seattle1
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To: John Semmens

The absolute DUMBEST elected official I’ve ever known. Second only to those who voted for him. Unbelievable.


11 posted on 02/09/2026 10:32:04 AM PST by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to says it.)
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To: Jonty30
Trump is handling it correct, by allowing blue cities to go to hell because of their policies. Bodies have to hit the floor before these cities will change.

Bodies *have* been hitting the floor. The problem is, they are the useful idiots known as citizens being killed and killing each other. Now, take out some responsible for the situation those cities and states are in, like some of the politicians, prosecutors, and judges, and you *might* be able to enact some changes.

12 posted on 02/09/2026 10:32:07 AM PST by CatOwner (Don't expect anyone, even conservatives, to have your back when the SHTF in 2021 and beyond.)
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To: John Semmens

The feds need to take down Brandon Johnson hard in handcuffs and perpwalk him to the nearest federal prison in Gitmo.


13 posted on 02/09/2026 10:32:51 AM PST by Carl Vehse
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To: John Semmens
Rogelio Martinez
14 posted on 02/09/2026 10:59:30 AM PST by SuperLuminal (Where is rabble-rising Sam Adams now that we need him? Is his name Trump, now?)
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To: John Semmens

Look for potential felonies that could be prosecuted.

Mayor hit hardest?.


15 posted on 02/09/2026 11:04:23 AM PST by Vaduz (NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
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To: pfflier
How can anyone NOT see everything wrong with that statement?

The very title of the thread says this is satire...

16 posted on 02/09/2026 11:10:41 AM PST by Republican Wildcat
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To: Petrosius

But, but—how else can those poor wittle Demonrats get enough votes to keep them in power?


17 posted on 02/09/2026 11:22:29 AM PST by milagro (There is no peace in appeasement! There's maybe a little bit )
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To: Republican Wildcat

The mayor DID make that statement. It ain’t satire it is open rebellion.


18 posted on 02/09/2026 12:21:17 PM PST by pfflier
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To: John Semmens

It’s not a mystery anymore. The Democrats need illegals to vote, to pump up the census in blue states, to participate in government fraud that is funneled back into Dem campaign coffers and Dem NGOs.


19 posted on 02/09/2026 12:31:42 PM PST by grumpygresh
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To: pfflier

No, he did not. The only place that statement appears is here and on the original satire site:

https://duckduckgo.com/?ia=web&origin=funnel_home_website&t=h_&q=%22our+state+and+city+are+sanctuaries+for+illegal+immigrants.+ICE+is+invading+us+in+an+attempt+to+negate+our+sovereignty+over+the+areas+we+rule%22&chip-select=search


20 posted on 02/09/2026 1:22:24 PM PST by Republican Wildcat
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