Posted on 01/10/2026 11:29:23 AM PST by DFG
U.S. — Following the events in Minneapolis this past week, liberals across America are now living under the constant terror of being senselessly shot by the ICE agents they're hitting with cars.
Many liberals will not even go outside, fearful that America is no longer safe for people who aim their SUVs at law enforcement officers and accelerate.
"I'm petrified. This is an awful new reality we are living in, where the federal officers you're trying to mow down could shoot you at any moment," said local liberal Jennifer Small. "Every time I wave good-bye to my husband, I wonder if this is our last farewell. Is today the day when I will be needlessly killed for blocking law enforcement, refusing to comply with police orders, turning my wheels toward an officer, and pressing the gas?"
Democratic politicians have warned their electorate that they are in imminent danger from the police they are trying to maim and and murder. "Make no mistake. The people you are running over with your cars could literally kill you," said Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey. "I am disgusted that Minnesotans are at risk of violence when committing vehicular homicide, and I'm going to do everything in my power to change that."
At publishing time, Democrats had also warned that citizens could also be groundlessly arrested by the riot police they're setting on fire.
The most terrible of terribles for the insane wokies.
Good satire is heavenly.
Bee hit the nail on the head...as usual...
Liberals are so paranoid if your behind one and make a loud clap they dive to the floor and yell ICE just shot me call for help.
Isn’t shooting people considered free speech under the First Amendment?
I know.
It’s the Bee.
That said, try to kill someone with your car, you should fear for your life.
Sorry - meant to type “isn’t hitting people with your car considered free speech?” Mea culpa. Although I wouldn’t put it past certain judges to declare them both free speech.
Hey, this could the heavy traffic situation. Can I get ICE to come to my town and stay?
the constant terror of being senselessly shot by the ICE agents they’re hitting with cars.
Its just peaceful protest...quit taking it so danged seriously!
/s
Although a “humor” site, let’s remember this:
Vehicular homicide is a crime that involves the death of a person other than the driver as a result of either criminally negligent or murderous operation of a motor vehicle.
In cases of criminal negligence, the defendant is commonly charged with unintentional vehicular manslaughter. Vehicular homicide is similar to the offense, in some countries, of “dangerous driving causing death”.
The victim may be either a person not in the car with the offending motorist (such as a pedestrian, cyclist, or another motorist), or a passenger in the vehicle with the offender.
Wikipedia.
There, fixed it.
(but how could the Bee have missed that one?)
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