Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Public Employees Illegally Take Business Loans [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 January 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/06/2026 10:36:24 AM PST by John Semmens

During the COVID pandemic federal legislation was passed to grant forgivable loans to small businesses so they could survive the shutdowns imposed on them by state and local governments. Almost 400 Illinois state employees fraudulently applied for and received $2.8 million of these loans. Additional fraudulent loans were obtained by county and city employees. The US Department of Justice (DOJ) is charging thousands of individuals and so far has seized over $1.4 billion in stolen relief funds.

Gov. JB Pritzker (D) blamed Biden Administration officials "for not adequately vetting the loan applications. Our hard-working government employees saw there was money available for the taking. Some of them took the initiative to create fake businesses so they could get a piece of this action. I don't blame them. If I weren't already a billionaire I might have been tempted to do the same."

One employee who obtained a $50,000 loan for a non-existent business lamented his misfortune, saying "so many others seemed to be getting away with it that I thought 'what the heck. Why shouldn't I get my share?' There are so many other bigger fish they should be going after. Illinois is ranked as the second-most corrupt state and Chicago the most corrupt city in the country. I'm only a guppy by comparison. Anyway, I hope to avoid prison by agreeing to pay back the money. Then I can file for bankruptcy and start a new life."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: corruption; illinois; pritzker; satire

1 posted on 01/06/2026 10:36:24 AM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Most of that Dempanic money went to the Soros Boomer Actors Troupe to buy RVs and have the spending money to hit the road.


2 posted on 01/06/2026 10:51:02 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (A Somali Nabadey Timmy! We're going to miss you! Keep your Tampons dry!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All

During COVID feds passed legislation to grant “forgivable loans”
to small businesses to help them survive the forced shutdowns.
<><>but who could have guessed......./s
<><>some 400 Ill state employees fraudulently received $millions of these loans.
<><>Additional fraudulent loans were obtained by county and city employees.
<><>DOJ is now charging thousands and has seized over $1.4B in stolen funds to date.


3 posted on 01/06/2026 11:01:40 AM PST by Liz (Jonathan Swift: Government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

The “Dynachrome Daycare Center for Wayward Female Bikini Models” is now open. Send govt. money now.


4 posted on 01/06/2026 11:07:58 AM PST by dynachrome (“They don’t kill you because you’re a Nazi; they call you a Nazi so they can kill you.”)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Illinois, Chicago and other government employees are in the business of collecting bribes and extortion. They need to be compensated for the way COVID interrupted their collection of bribes and extortion.


5 posted on 01/06/2026 11:08:38 AM PST by spintreebob
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Now nation DMV’s don’t have to sell bogus titles for loans.


6 posted on 01/06/2026 11:15:15 AM PST by Vaduz (?.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson