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Exclusive Sneak Peek At Next Year's AmFest Lineup
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/23/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/23/2025 10:43:53 AM PST by DFG

The curtain had not yet fallen on Turning Point USA's AmFest 2025 before rumors swirled about how they were going to top it next year. How do you follow up such a wild show?

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following exclusive sneak peek at the speaker lineup for next year's TPUSA AmFest:

1. Nickelback: The world's greatest rock band belongs at the world's greatest conservative conference.

2. Nick Fuentes's less-Nazi brother, Steve Fuentes: He still says really, really awful stuff. Just slightly less-Nazi.

3. The Radio City Rockettes: Apparently, they're conservative now. That means they're in.

4. An actual cat turd: The crowd is going to go wild.

5. Vlad the Impaler: You may not agree with everything he does, but it's important to hear him out.

6. A professional athlete who vaguely pointed up to the sky after scoring: If they're famous and do something even remotely Christian, you know they'll be there.

7. A hot chick who said something vaguely conservative one time: She's the next right-wing superstar!

8. Cookie Monster: His views on Israel-Palestine may be divisive, but he's still popular.

9. A dozen caged screaming howler monkeys: Should improve on the level of civil discourse we're used to seeing.

10. A black to be named later: Who will it be next year?

Looks like it's already shaping up to be quite a show. Who else belongs on the AmFest stage next year? Throw your suggestions in the comments below.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: amfest; babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 12/23/2025 10:43:53 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Neighbors up the street from us sold us some smelly spray cleaner. Awful stuff.


2 posted on 12/23/2025 11:44:12 AM PST by PghBaldy (12/14/12- 930am -rampage begins... 12/15/12 - 1030am - Obama team scouts photo-op locations.)
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To: DFG

So the same people they had this year?


3 posted on 12/23/2025 11:45:12 AM PST by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: DFG

Hunter Biden. He has recently stumbled upon information that indicates his father’s presidency was a ****ing failure on certain issues. This news must get out.


4 posted on 12/23/2025 11:46:29 AM PST by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: DFG

That hot chick is going places!


5 posted on 12/23/2025 11:47:52 AM PST by aynrandfreak (Being a Democrat means never having to say you're sorry)
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To: DFG
So, we get this the Babylon Bee despite this poll of TPUSA members?

Of the over 30,000 respondents to the survey conducted at the conservative activist event over the weekend, 33.3% described Israel as a “top ally.” 53.4% of participants viewed Israel as “one ally of many,” while 13.3% did not view Israel as an ally, according to results published on social media by TPUSA spokesperson Andrew Kolvet.

6 posted on 12/23/2025 12:57:14 PM PST by Kazan
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