Posted on 12/02/2025 9:45:34 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Newly released results of a medical exam proved what many had suspected for years, as an MRI confirmed that President Donald Trump suffers from incurable advanced-stage patriotism.
The results of the scan affirmed speculation that had run wild throughout the nation's capital and across the country for the last decade, with lawmakers and journalists alike alleging that Trump was riddled with love for America that had spread throughout his entire body.
"It's far more widespread than anyone thought," White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt told reporters in a briefing. "His liver, his lymph nodes, even in his bone marrow. President Trump's body has been fully consumed by patriotism. We've been informed by all medical experts that there is, in fact, no cure."
When asked directly about his condition, the president was blunt. "Nobody's got a case of this like mine," he told the media in brief comments in the Oval Office. "The doctor told me he's never seen anything like it. He said he was surprised I was still alive with how much of it I have everywhere in my body. It's like I'm superhuman, he said. That's what he told me. Most people wouldn't survive such a severe case of loving their country. It's just the way I am. I'm not like other men, believe me."
At publishing time, medical professionals issued a warning that President Trump's incurable, advanced-stage patriotism was likely to be dangerously contagious and could be spread to any people who spent time around him.
Stop freaking me out!
Right on! Winning! Dumbass liberals.
Lol
Doctor Doctor, gimme the news I got a
Bad case of loving you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill I’ve got a
Bad case of loving you
Headline scared me to death up to the very last word. Now I need to climb off the ledge.
That sounds like something a lot of folks could use.
ROFL
MSN is all in a tizzy thinking Trump is hiding something. They even posted stories about “Dozy Don”, an obvious take on “Sleepy Joe” to argue he’s in mental decline.
I also heard that Trump’s blood bleeds red and not rainbow. How bad can it get?
This is the latest talking point. There’s something seriously wrong with Trump (mentally &.or physically).
I’m seeing the same bad angle, bad facial expression “does this man look competent” photo (or freeze-frame?) of Trump all over, esp. FaceBook. Often juxtaposed with a highly filtered photo of “Hero Joe” looking healthy and aware in his bomber jacket. I’m sure I could find a unfortunately bad picture of just about any public figure to make that same comparison.
(side note— I thought Ol Joe had metastasized cancer & was on a chemo regimen — or was that just so they wouldn’t press charges against him?)
Anyway — Kudos to the Bee!!
I know, just about gave me a damn heart attack as I scrolled by
WORKING AT THE BEE MUST BE HILARIOUS
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