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WNBA Players Assure FBI They Weren't Missing Layups To Throw Games, They Just Suck At Basketball
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/23/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/24/2025 3:37:35 AM PDT by DFG

U.S. — In light of the NBA's recent gambling scandal, WNBA players assured federal agents that they don't miss easy layups to throw games, they just suck at basketball.

Suspicion had arisen regarding the effort of WNBA players, with many people leveling accusations at them for trying to intentionally lose games as part of an alleged nationwide illegal gambling operation. A group of players met with FBI agents Thursday afternoon to vehemently deny such rumors, clarifying that they were just all really awful basketball players.

"I know it seems like a scam, but we're all just really, really bad at this game," said Chicago Sky star Angel Reese. "The truth is, we're just not that good at making the ball go into the little circle. We really are trying. It's just a lot harder than it looks."

According to insiders with knowledge of the federal investigation, the FBI was grateful for the WNBA's cooperation even though the organization was not on their radar. "I've never even heard of women's basketball," FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino said. "In fact, the whole league sounds like some sort of scam."

At publishing time, WNBA player Caitlin Clark was questioned under suspicion that she was being intentionally good at basketball as a way of swaying game outcomes in her favor. "It's very suspicious, like some sort of reverse throwing of the game," FBI Director Kash Patel said. "It's antithetical to everything the WNBA appears to stand for. Highly suspect."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 10/24/2025 3:37:35 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

What is the over/under on dayglo toys being tossed? The mafia got their fingers in this too?


2 posted on 10/24/2025 3:41:13 AM PDT by Kudsman (48)
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To: DFG

WNBA players don’t hear anyone say “break a leg” before a game, they hear “break a nail”.


3 posted on 10/24/2025 3:55:22 AM PDT by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: Kudsman

It’s the Bee.


4 posted on 10/24/2025 3:58:53 AM PDT by Daveinyork ( )
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To: DFG

Too easy.....even I thought this one up! LOL!


5 posted on 10/24/2025 4:11:14 AM PDT by V_TWIN (RIP Charlie Kirk)
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To: DFG

Bwahahaha


6 posted on 10/24/2025 4:31:21 AM PDT by griswold3 (cTruth Beauty and Goodness)
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To: DFG
Serious question: Do any Conservatives watch NBA?

I know college hoops become a thing in the Spring, but are there any Freepers walking around in LA Clippers jerseys with their hats on backwards?

7 posted on 10/24/2025 4:36:07 AM PDT by Sirius Lee ("Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”)
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To: DFG
"It's very suspicious, like some sort of reverse throwing of the game,"

Whoever writes Babylon Bee’s story-closing comments is hilarious.

8 posted on 10/24/2025 4:53:03 AM PDT by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump )
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To: DFG

The WNBA’s ladies just can’t shoot the basketball.


9 posted on 10/24/2025 5:33:36 AM PDT by ComputerGuy
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To: Sirius Lee

I watched a bit in the mid nineties but that faded. These days it’s at flatline zero. When the local team won it all more recently I was happy for them but never watched any of the games. Some highlights from the sports news but that was it.


10 posted on 10/24/2025 5:45:55 AM PDT by xp38
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