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Mayor Vows to "Eradicate Law Enforcement" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 September 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/20/2025 10:27:06 AM PDT by John Semmens

In a bid to stave off an infusion of law-enforcement assets into his city by President Trump, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson declared that "the idea that law enforcement is the solution to reducing crime is a sickness. Folks commit crimes because they are desperate. Sending armed cops after them just accelerates that desperation leading to more death and destruction."

Johnson went on to praise Gov. JB Pritzker's (D) "Peacekeepers" initiative, saying "rather than give up on folks with criminal records we are going to give them a chance to refocus their efforts in ways that will help the community become a safer and more law-abiding environment. By the time Trump gets around to sending in the National Guard our streets will already be pacified."

A potential weakness of this approach was demonstrated when a "Peacekeeper" named Kellen McMiller who was photographed with the Governor was arrested for participating in a smash-and-grab robbery of a Louis Vuitton store in Chicago. Mark Arceta, a Skokie man on his way to work, was killed when the robbery escape vehicle crashed into his car at 77 mph. This adds a felony murder charge to the crime.

McMiller has an extensive criminal background including drug charges, domestic battery, armed robbery and probation violations in Cook County. A spokesman for the Governor said "while he is surprised and dismayed by this turn of events his belief in the 'Peacekeepers' concept is not shaken. He feels that one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch. He does, however, want to assure voters that he totally disapproves of the recent robbery and says it will not deter him from entering and winning the 2028 presidential election."

Johnson added that "putting expensive merchandise in a store window is asking for trouble. So, in part, I have to say the Louis Vuitton folks are responsible for luring these criminals to rob their store."

In related news, Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Tex) also spoke out against President Trump's efforts to toughen up law enforcement, saying "what Trump and his supporters don't understand is that committing a crime doesn't make a person a criminal. I've been a public defender. I've represented dozens of individuals accused of horrendous crimes. I talked to each of them in great depth about their motives. Not a single one of them expressed the intent to commit a crime. So, I think they're not criminals. They are just folks who got into trouble without intending to. These people need understanding and mercy. Democrats all instinctively know this. That's why we instinctively oppose what Trump is trying to do."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: brandonjohnson; chicago; crockett; illinois; jbpritzker; kellermcmillan; letsgobrandon; libtardsgonnatard; peacekeepers; postandrun; pritzker; satire; selfpromotion

1 posted on 09/20/2025 10:27:06 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Shut it down brandon . I double dog dare you to shutter the cop shop.


2 posted on 09/20/2025 10:32:41 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? On hold! Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. 🚫💉! 🇮🇱🙏! Winning currently!)
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To: John Semmens
Mayor Brandon Johnson declared that "the idea that law enforcement is the solution to reducing crime is a sickness.

A false belief premised that classical conditioning and positive reinforcement alone can accomplish anything. It makes a nice story though if one is virtue signaling their way to unaccountable power.

3 posted on 09/20/2025 10:35:52 AM PDT by Carry_Okie (The tree of liberty needs a rope.)
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To: John Semmens

Johnson went on to praise Gov. JB Pritzker’s (D) “Peacekeepers” initiative, saying “rather than give up on folks with criminal records we are going to give them a chance to refocus their efforts in ways that will help the community become a safer and more law-abiding environment. By the time Trump gets around to sending in the National Guard our streets will already be pacified.”

++++++++
So in addition to mid-night basketball, Chicongo will also offer hoops at lunch?


4 posted on 09/20/2025 10:39:47 AM PDT by mund1011 (We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality)
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To: John Semmens

He’s got the gang vote wrapped up...


5 posted on 09/20/2025 10:44:45 AM PDT by Clutch Martin ("The dawn cracks hard like a bull whip and it ain't taking no lip from the night before" Tom Waits)
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To: All

Dimwit Mayor Brandon Johnson stupidly repeated inane ghetto talk:
<><>”the “idea” that l/e is the solution to reducing crime is a “sickness.”
<><>Louis Vuitton is responsible for “luring” criminals to rob
<><>they put costly merchandise in a store window.


6 posted on 09/20/2025 10:48:44 AM PDT by Liz (May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead (Irish blessing))
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To: John Semmens

These two communist scum are typical of about 30% of the country...

Clear examples of why solutions related to “voting” are hopeless...


7 posted on 09/20/2025 10:49:30 AM PDT by SuperLuminal (Where is rabble-rising Sam Adams now that we need him? Is his name Trump, now?)
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To: John Semmens

What an IDIOT!


8 posted on 09/20/2025 10:59:34 AM PDT by Flaming Conservative ((Pray without ceasing)like he had it with him.)
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To: John Semmens

Good grief!

Pritzker’s Illinois and Johnson’s Chicago are a career criminal’s delightful playground.


9 posted on 09/20/2025 11:13:35 AM PDT by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: John Semmens

This is the spirit of anti-Christ at work, the ‘lawless one’ rising up for the last days. Being done by reprobate politicians and those who have forgotten God. And by those enacting a ‘Color Revolution’ of chaos and uncertainty. Where they can then operate more heavy handed and freely in their service to that same evil Spirit who gives them their seat, power and great authority.

“And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.” Matthew 24:12

“Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.” 1 John 3:4

“For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work. Only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will kill with the breath of his mouth and bring to nothing by the appearance of his coming.” 2 Thessalonians 2:7-8


10 posted on 09/20/2025 12:46:30 PM PDT by captmar-vell
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To: rktman

I don’t want him to shutter the cop shop, just send his protective detail home ... and wait for a week to see if he survives in his city of Shiite-Cago.


11 posted on 09/20/2025 1:01:55 PM PDT by MIchaelTArchangel
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