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Donor Irked by Bike Lane [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 August 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/18/2025 9:32:40 AM PDT by John Semmens

Jay Cashman, a multi-million dollar donor to the campaign of Boston Mayor Michelle Wu, isn't pleased with the placement of a new bike lane next to his $19 million mansion. Cashman contends that "these new bike lanes will decrease safety, eliminate too many parking spaces, lead to more traffic congestion, and lead to slower response times for emergency vehicles."

Mayor Wu asserts that "bike lanes make roads safer. Crashes have declined by 51% on streets where bikers and drivers are separated by posts or other barriers. They also make it more convenient and affordable for those who can't afford to own a motor vehicle or a mansion to live and move about the city."

The Mayor went on to add "Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) has pointed out, no one needs to have a billion dollars or live in a mansion. Candidate for New York City mayor Zoran Mamdani has promised to abolish private property. If he wins I think other mayors will be considering whether to do the same in their cities. How many low-income families could live in the $19 million mansion now hogged by one rich Boston resident?"


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: billionaires; boston; mamdani; mansions; sanders; satire

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1 posted on 08/18/2025 9:32:40 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

ridiculous to worry about bike lanes: nobody uses them anyway ...

in Colorado, the “bike capital” of the USA, i’ve never seen a single bicycle on the multi-million dollar concrete bike lane in the middle of the Boulder-Denver turnpike, and i expect the same amount of bicycle traffic on the multi-million dollar concrete bike lane being built in the middle of the Diagonal Highway between boulder and Longmont, though the vehicle traffic jams are legion on both highways ...


2 posted on 08/18/2025 9:38:50 AM PDT by catnipman ((A Vote For The Lesser Of Two Evils Still Counts As A Vote For Evil))
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To: John Semmens

The Mayor went on to add “Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) has pointed out, no one needs to have a billion dollars or live in a mansion.


Well that is good authority. What else did Bernie say and DO?


3 posted on 08/18/2025 9:46:29 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere)
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To: John Semmens

Good post! The semi-satire is hard to tell reality from the ridiculous, perhaps because the left is so ridiculous. LOL


4 posted on 08/18/2025 9:47:26 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: John Semmens

My heart is pumping pure pee for this guy.


5 posted on 08/18/2025 9:49:46 AM PDT by Daveinyork ( )
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To: John Semmens

Bike lanes for thee but not for me!!


6 posted on 08/18/2025 9:53:01 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: catnipman

If it saves just one life..... Suck it up, Bernie Bro’!


7 posted on 08/18/2025 10:00:02 AM PDT by alstewartfan (Old admirals who feel the wind Are never put to sea. Al Stewart)
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To: John Semmens

Imagine if he also had to look at and hear wind turbines out on the water.


8 posted on 08/18/2025 10:35:51 AM PDT by ArcadeQuarters (You can't remove RINOs by voting for them!)
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To: John Semmens

Mr. Cashman’s neighborhood needs a bunch of homeless drug addicts, hookers, beat up RVs, and piles o’ human poop.


9 posted on 08/18/2025 11:48:45 AM PDT by Oldeconomybuyer (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money)
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