Posted on 08/16/2025 9:50:20 AM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An unidentified man at a local Subway location was seen asking the Sandwich Artist on duty if they had a sandwich that has good stopping power that's also compact and easy to conceal.
The customer arrived at the restaurant and reportedly asked the worker behind the counter if she had anything that would be effective for home defense.
"I'm looking for something lightweight and easy to conceal that I can still pull out in a pinch to stop a threat," the man reportedly said. "Something manageable that won't kick too hard but has sufficient stopping power."
"No olives," he added.
According to Subway, several customers had changed the way they shop for sandwiches, prioritizing accuracy and reliability over flavor. Sandwich Artists have had a hard time keeping up with demand.
"We have, uh, we have our famous Cold Cut Combo. That's good for any occasion. But the Subway Club has a little more bite to it. Is that what you mean?" Nancy Roast, the Sandwich Artist on duty, asked.
The interaction lasted approximately five minutes, with the unidentified customer questioning the durability and carrying capacity of the meatball sub. "Do you sell extra meatballs?" he asked. "What if I'm surrounded and, uh, I run out of meatballs?"
At publishing time, the local Subway branch was shut down pending an investigation after a Subway sandwich sold at the location was involved in a crime.
Now that is funny.
Taco Bell has better Prices..
What about the word “triggered,” should we remove that from our lexicon?
Funny.
Let me have one of those “cop filler” sandwiches, that fills up a hungry cop!
I just built an untraceable “ghost” sandwich.
I haven’t seen the sandwich identified yet but if it was Subway tuna it’s a deadly weapon.
they should have used “Sandwich Dealer” instead of “Sandwich Artist” ...
would a full auto doughnut do the job?
Better priced but isn’t there a waiting period?
Yup. The Subway tuna has always had the ‘stopping power’ to prevent me from eating it.
Yes it is! LOL!
Yes it is! LOL!
I want a higher capacity meatball sub.
“I’m sorry, but if you want double meat there is a 14 day waiting period and we have to do a background check. Here, fill out this form and show two forms of picture id.”
😂😂🤣🤣
Just order anything on a day old bagel.
I recommend a Manhandler.
Something with a good spread.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.