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Investigation Concludes Trump Is The Only One Who Didn’t Collude With Russia
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/31/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/31/2025 12:45:07 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. — Newly declassified intelligence files revealed that every politician, government official, and political candidate except Donald Trump colluded with Russia in 2016.

The scandal reportedly took news media and D.C. insiders by complete surprise.

"Wow, it looks like everything was exactly the opposite of what we were all told," said one surprised American citizen. "Who could've imagined they'd lie to us like this? It doesn't seem like something they'd do."

The documents indicated that several key figures, including Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice, James Comey, James Clapper, John Kerry, Joe Biden, Ash Carter, Loretta Lynch, Eric Holder, Jeh Johnson, Denis McDonough, The New York Times, CNN, Nancy Pelosi, every member of the United States Congress, and 32,736 other individuals in various positions in the government colluded with the Russians to prevent Trump from becoming president.

"Wow, looks like I've been vindicated. Many are saying I've been vindicated. It's fair to say I've been vindicated," said Trump on a post to his Truth Social account. "Total and complete vindication. Congratulations, America, your favorite President has won again!"

At publishing time, sources indicated that zero people so far had been arrested for the Russia collusion.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

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1 posted on 07/31/2025 12:45:07 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Once again the Bee is the paper of record!


2 posted on 07/31/2025 12:46:10 PM PDT by Skwor
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To: DFG

Can’t we just deport them all to Russia?


3 posted on 07/31/2025 12:48:23 PM PDT by Bullish (My tagline ran off with another man, but it's ok---- I wasn't married to it.)
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To: DFG
Investigation Concludes Trump Is The Only One Who Didn’t Collude With Russia

Of course President Trump is Innocent and ALL Prog Marxist Democrats are GUILTY.

The Bee has become THE Premier Hard News, All Fact, News Reporting Organization in the West!

4 posted on 07/31/2025 12:51:43 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: Skwor; DFG
Once again the Bee is the paper of record!

Bingo!

5 posted on 07/31/2025 1:04:08 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: Skwor; DFG
Once again the Bee is the paper of record!

Bingo!

6 posted on 07/31/2025 1:04:08 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: DFG
Some ancient history!


7 posted on 07/31/2025 1:17:41 PM PDT by Dick Bachert
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To: Skwor

btt


8 posted on 07/31/2025 1:19:39 PM PDT by KSCITYBOY (The media is corrupt)
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To: Bullish

I never got the impression that Putin respected the American bureaucratic model either.

of course Siberia?? that would work.


9 posted on 07/31/2025 2:13:07 PM PDT by Chickensoup
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To: DFG

10 posted on 07/31/2025 3:33:46 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (If [mortals] are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? —Benjamin Franklin)
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To: DFG

If it weren’t for the bee saying it, I would think it was completely real.


11 posted on 07/31/2025 4:02:17 PM PDT by californian by choice (Who are those who believe in science?)
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To: Albion Wilde

<img src=”https://files.catbox.moe/ds9f8a.jpeg=”


12 posted on 07/31/2025 4:54:34 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (Dan Bongino: “No matter how much you hate these people, you don’t hate them enough!”.)
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To: Albion Wilde

What a world we live in.

If someone tried to make a movie about stuff like this happening, nobody would believe it.


13 posted on 07/31/2025 5:07:51 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: DFG

The Bee is supposed to be preposterous. This headline is actually much closer to the truth than the standard media!


14 posted on 07/31/2025 6:43:18 PM PDT by the_Watchman
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To: DFG

Ha!

Thanks for posting!!


15 posted on 07/31/2025 9:28:58 PM PDT by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue voter )
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