Dems Complain About "Alligator Alcatraz" [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 July 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

A group of four Florida Democrats--Reps. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Maxwell Alejandro Frost, Darren Soto, and Jared Moskowitz--visited the new "Alligator Alcatraz" immigration detention center in the Everglades and judged the accommodations "disturbing and disgusting."

Wasserman-Schultz observed "the place is like a prison. Freedom of movement is restricted. Detainees are served grilled cheese sandwiches while employees are served roasted chicken meals. The are no fences or walls to prevent detainees from wandering into the alligator and snake infested swamp that surrounds the place. It's as if they're daring the inmates to try to escape."

Frost brought a binder filled with names and photos of detainees who have lost contact with their families. "They aren't permitted to have cell phones and the public phones at the facility are severely limited," he complained.

Soto said "what they're doing here is eliminating thousands and thousands of workers. It will cripple our economy. Thousands of lawns won't get mowed. Thousands of floors won't get scrubbed. Thousands of beds won't be made."

Moskowitz, described the center as "effing ridiculous. It only has the capacity to hold 1,000 inmates. There are 20 million so-called illegal aliens in the United States. It would take 20,000 detention facilities to hold all of them."

Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) pointed out that "all of these inmates have broken the law by illegally entering the United States. They are only in this facility until they can be deported. Each inmate can immediately opt out by taking the all-expense-paid flight back to his home country that is offered to all inmates as soon as they arrive."

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TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: frost; moskowitz; satire; soto; wassermanschultz

[butlerweave]

These are Criminals so should be in Prison

[frank ballenger]

The Dems were dormant when the Crime Dog wanted to “take a bite out of crime.”

Now when somebody does something they get agitated.

[frank ballenger]

Although not surprising, Debbie is too ignorant to be in public office.

A large number of the correctional facilities for youths and adults all over the country use the combination toilet and sink plumbing solution in cells. No, the prisoners cannot ask to brush their teeth in one sink, freshen up in another, and have scented, skin friendly body wash.

One solution for the illegals: Don’t commit crimes. And self-deport to get out before the crime of entering the US illegally under federal laws is discovered for you.

[Yardstick]

I was looking at Alligator Alcatraz t-shirts on Amazon the other day. The libtards are on there giving zero star reviews and berating the sellers.

[FlingWingFlyer]

These RAT Illegal Alien invaders had it a lot worse than this while parading for the news cameras up the western hemisphere from Antarctica to the Rio Grande while their wives and girlfriends swelled up like ticks during the trip. If those sissy girls and their wives can’t take residing in Alligator Alcatraz, I recommended they go home to their mansions below the border. America doesn’t own those maggots a thing. They need to get the heck out of here and stop living on our backs.

[FlingWingFlyer]

The slobs came here for “a better life” financed by the America taxpayers. Now they got it. They need to stop complaining and throwing tantrums. They’ve never had it this good. Come on! Cowboy up Jose’.

[FlingWingFlyer]

Little Debbie Washtub can’t give us the name of one invader locked up safely in ‘gator ‘traz but she worries about them as though they are all her army of secret latin lovers. What the he**?

[Vaduz]

Wasserman-Schultz observed “the place is like a prison.

Duh walking pathes and room service isn’t an option.

[Dick Bachert]

UNLESS CONVICTED OF CRIMES BEYOND ILLEGAL ENTRY, these ahhhh... “migrants” can get out of there by simply agreeing to get on the next taxpayer funded flight BACK to WHERE THEY CAME FROM and stay there or apply to come back LEGALLY!!