Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Democrats Announce They Will Celebrate Juneteenth By Giving Their Slaves An Extra 5-Minute Break
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/19/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/19/2025 2:16:11 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. — Democrats across the country announced that they would be celebrating the Juneteenth holiday by giving their slaves an extra 5-minute break during the day.

"Happy Juneteenth!" Nancy Pelosi told the illegal immigrant that she pays under the table. "Why don't you take an extra five minutes to celebrate quietly with your kids. Then, it's back to work!"

Democrats, known for their history of slave ownership, chose to take the entire day for quiet reflection as they remembered how slaves in Texas were finally told they were free two years after the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Republican President Abraham Lincoln had already done so.

"The world really is a different place now," Gavin Newsom told the minority family he was paying a dollar to pick his orange trees. "It really makes you think, you know? Just a quick break, though, ok?"

Though Juneteenth was still a young federal holiday marked by scattered parades and gatherings, Democrats expressed hope that it would eventually catch on among all of the brown people they employ to work on their estates.

"I think if I get Jorge to build me a nice gazebo at cost, then next year I can host a lovely party celebrating the human dignity of all people," said Pelosi.

At publishing time, Democrats reminded their slaves of the dangers of voting for the party that freed them.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 06/19/2025 2:16:11 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

Juneteenth celebrates June 19, 1865. On that date, Democrats really did want to “put ya’ll back in chains.”


2 posted on 06/19/2025 2:20:49 PM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

America needs more holidays like this one!

Wow!

We owe this day to the planters that imported blacks to pick their cotton.


3 posted on 06/19/2025 2:22:59 PM PDT by ABStrauss (I miss Rulsh!!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ABStrauss

“ America needs more holidays like this one!”

We just have to change the narrative using this article. Blame Democrats for slavery. We have the laws behind us.


4 posted on 06/19/2025 2:37:56 PM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (TDS much?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: EQAndyBuzz

That’s right.


5 posted on 06/19/2025 2:40:09 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Opinionated Blowhard
Juneteenth celebrates June 19, 1865.

Celebrate: "Republicans Freed the Slaves Month"!

6 posted on 06/19/2025 2:40:48 PM PDT by ROCKLOBSTER (Celebrate: "Republicans Freed the Slaves Month")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: ROCKLOBSTER

Wonderful idea.


7 posted on 06/19/2025 2:41:31 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Real white of ‘em!


8 posted on 06/19/2025 2:43:18 PM PDT by bigbob (Yes. We ARE going back)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

This is just too good. You’d better put some ice on that.


9 posted on 06/19/2025 3:05:58 PM PDT by ChessExpert (The Democratic party must be destroyed.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

10 posted on 06/19/2025 3:09:28 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats are the Party of anger, hate and violence.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

5 Min break PLUS one scoop of ice creme!


11 posted on 06/19/2025 5:11:09 PM PDT by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

As usual, the Bee zinged the Dems...


12 posted on 06/19/2025 8:54:06 PM PDT by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson