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Dems Ponder on How to Win Male Votes [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 June 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/03/2025 10:36:40 AM PDT by John Semmens

The shift of young male voters to Trump in the November 2024 elections was enough to give him and other Republicans a solid victory. Rep. Jason Crow (D-Co) is heading up an effort to recruit candidates for the 2026 mid-term elections. He said "there are very real questions about the path forward. People who used to be Democrats now vote for Trump. We seem to have pushed these people away from our Party. Maybe LGBTQ, transgender support, and open borders aren't the right issues for the voters we aren't getting."

"We're considering investing $20 million to develop a 'Speaking with American Men' (SAM) strategy," Crow continued. "First we need to study the Internet to see how men communicate with other men. What is the proper syntax, language and content for getting their attention? What key words and phrases should we use to convey our message on how to unify the country behind our candidates?"

Recently defeated Democrat vice-presidential nominee Gov. Tim Walz (Minn) offered his insight, saying "we were right on the cusp of success in 2024. Kamala's choice to put me on the ticket added the kind of manliness that men seek from a leader. In hindsight, I think it would've been better for her to have chosen me to head the ticket. Her strength was in being the loyal aid to Joe Biden's successful campaign. She should've done the same for me. I was the former high school football coach. I am familiar with the three 'Bs'--bros, brews, and boobs--of guy talk that serve as instant icebreakers in any conversation among men. We shouldn't allow Trump's clever use of the three Bs in his Big, Beautiful Bill to monopolize the messaging to the young men of America."

Democrat activist Olivia Julianna asserted "I spend a lot of time on college campuses. I love young men. I love frat guys, and in that I realize, even the ones who identify as conservative are almost always pro-choice. Almost always pro-gay marriage. You'd be surprised at the number of them who supported Black Lives Matter. I feel like people kind of just lump them into this box when the truth is, again, a lot of them are with us on the issues. They're just not part of our coalition because they feel like they're not welcome. We just got to find the right words to change that."

Former congressman, prisoner, and current candidate for New York's City Council, Anthony Weiner, questioned the need to win over more male votes by pointing out that "women outnumber men. I think our message of abortion anytime, anywhere, and government-funded is perfect. It puts women fully in charge of the decision on reproduction. It lets men who want the sex off the hook for child support. From my own personal experience, I can attest that women love me. That's because I hold nothing back. What they see is what they get. I would advise Jason to recruit more men like me to carry the Democrats to victory in 2026."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: homosexualagenda; jasoncrow; oliviajulianna; satire; texas; walz; weiner

1 posted on 06/03/2025 10:36:40 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

2 posted on 06/03/2025 10:38:37 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
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To: John Semmens

3 posted on 06/03/2025 10:39:46 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegals are put up in 5 Star hotels....................)
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To: John Semmens

More fat, angry pink-haired lesbians lecturing us about male toxicity should do the trick!


4 posted on 06/03/2025 10:39:49 AM PDT by PTBAA
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To: PTBAA

Or lil’ davee hogg. Oh wait. Same thing. How about a bearded bootyplug?


5 posted on 06/03/2025 10:42:15 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this💩? 🚫💉! 🇮🇱👍!)
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To: John Semmens
Not even joking, this is the person they've tapped to help improve their appeal to young men.

 

image host

 

 Seriously, this is their spokesperson.

6 posted on 06/03/2025 10:45:22 AM PDT by absalom01 (You should do your duty in all things. You can never do more. You should never wish to do less.)
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To: John Semmens

They’re all growing beards.


7 posted on 06/03/2025 10:45:50 AM PDT by McCarthysGhost
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Olivia Julianna …
Full name Olivia Julianna Hererra, for the record. Political science major at University of Houston-Victoria. First claim to fame was bringing down the Texas Right to Life whistleblower site by flooding the site with false reports.
8 posted on 06/03/2025 10:47:01 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: John Semmens

Despite the ongoing leftist indoctrination in public schools, boys will be boys in most cases. They are not attracted to overweight lesbian girls or gay men.


9 posted on 06/03/2025 10:48:43 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: John Semmens

Masochist could vote democrat


10 posted on 06/03/2025 12:12:22 PM PDT by Vaduz
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To: John Semmens

They need to figure what a man is in order to do so.


11 posted on 06/03/2025 1:11:19 PM PDT by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: absalom01

That should close the deal, all right. /s


12 posted on 06/04/2025 11:10:20 AM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn’t become your biography, what good is it?)
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