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Announcement: The Babylon Bee Is Now A Full-Service Restaurant And All Our Writers Are Compensated Entirely With Tips
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/22/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/22/2025 1:29:28 PM PDT by DFG

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Babylon Bee is no longer a satire website. After months of strategy meetings and lots of thinking really hard, we have decided to pivot to becoming a full-service restaurant empire. In light of this change, all our writers and other staffers will now be known as "waiters", "busboys", and "food-making guys," and will be compensated entirely in "tips."

This compensation plan, created without any kind of intent to avoid income taxes or otherwise skirt federal tax laws, is ultimately the best compensation structure for our employees. After lengthy discussion with our staffers, they expressed their desire to be compensated with tips rather than salaries or hourly wages, citing factors like being better motivated by tips and a sense of satisfaction when a customer tips them.

"This is a great shift for us," said Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon. "My $1,500,000 salary? It's now considered 'tips' from 'diners' at our 'restaurant.' Every subscriber who gives us money will be notified that they are 'tipping' their 'waitstaff,' for the 'delicious meals' we are serving them each and every day."

"I'm gonna make so much money," he added, off the record.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bablyonbee; satire
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1 posted on 05/22/2025 1:29:28 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

And all their work will be considered overtime.


2 posted on 05/22/2025 1:31:12 PM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: DFG

Bee nailing it again.


3 posted on 05/22/2025 1:32:23 PM PDT by mykroar ("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
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To: DFG

this article is like a dessert.


4 posted on 05/22/2025 1:33:00 PM PDT by Tai_Chung
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To: DFG

BB you better check the senate wording. it’s still a tax. they just make you keep track by making it a crappy deduction.


5 posted on 05/22/2025 1:34:21 PM PDT by dadfly
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To: DFG

If you thought tipping culture was out of control before wait a few months from now.

Even the cigar store asks if you want to leave a tip when all they did was ring up your cigars.

Imagine when self check-out at WalMart wants a tip!


6 posted on 05/22/2025 1:35:07 PM PDT by packagingguy
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To: DFG

Well done. No, make that medium rare.


7 posted on 05/22/2025 1:35:41 PM PDT by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: DFG

Good job bee... resist Trump’s no taxes on tips.

They have turned leftist more and more.
After the Mexican tall ship hit the bridge, they put one out that Trump was declaring war on Mexico.

They have hired some young Trump resisters there.


8 posted on 05/22/2025 1:37:44 PM PDT by DesertRhino (2016 Star Wars, 2020 The Empire Strikes Back, 2025... RETURN OF THE JEDI...Low IQ morons also have t)
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To: Texas Eagle

My biggest problem with the overtime exemption is the LEO and fire people that pad their last year of work before retiring.
Tax the hell out of them !!
Its all taxpayer $$$.


9 posted on 05/22/2025 1:38:02 PM PDT by George from New England (escaped CT back in 2006)
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To: DesertRhino

Maybe you missed that it’s a humor site.


10 posted on 05/22/2025 1:41:03 PM PDT by Kleon
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To: packagingguy

It is written as being limited to the professions that normally tip....restaurant servers, hair dressers, barbers...so that’s not going to happen.


11 posted on 05/22/2025 1:42:58 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Kleon

Yeah... and the “humor” has recently started turning into mockery of Trump.

For example the Mexican story. Trump would be likely to move heaven and earth to help the injured sailors and help Mexico get repairs going.
A humor site could have said Schumer says Trump is planning to use this against Mexicans or some such.

Their good natured side has going away, and their “jokes” are seeming more and more lined up against Trump.


12 posted on 05/22/2025 1:45:52 PM PDT by DesertRhino (2016 Star Wars, 2020 The Empire Strikes Back, 2025... RETURN OF THE JEDI...Low IQ morons also have t)
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To: Sacajaweau

My Korean pedicure guy is a whiz, always leave him nice cash tips though his family owns the place.


13 posted on 05/22/2025 1:48:26 PM PDT by Veto! (Trump Is Superman)
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To: Sacajaweau

Thank heavens, thanks for the clarification.

The cigar store story is true though.


14 posted on 05/22/2025 1:53:23 PM PDT by packagingguy
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To: DesertRhino

While PDJT is the greatest thing since Reagan, he has by no means failed to err, sometimes bigly.
So, lighten up Francis .


15 posted on 05/22/2025 2:03:22 PM PDT by A strike (ICE ICE baby !)
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To: DesertRhino

I would be disappointed if they did not do jokes at the expense of everyone.

Trump should certainly not be exempt, We all know Biden was not.

If the media and satire sites cannot mock any and all political leaders we are pretty much lost


16 posted on 05/22/2025 2:16:26 PM PDT by algore
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To: DesertRhino

Dude...


17 posted on 05/22/2025 2:25:51 PM PDT by Mr. Lucky
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To: DesertRhino
Yeah... and the “humor” has recently started turning into mockery of Trump.

So the POTUS is off-limits? They certainly didn't spare Biden.

18 posted on 05/22/2025 2:29:22 PM PDT by Kleon
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To: Tai_Chung

A tax desert.....


19 posted on 05/22/2025 3:08:28 PM PDT by Paladin2 (YMMV)
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To: packagingguy

Maybe it’s true but I believe the bill is specific to certain industries.


20 posted on 05/22/2025 3:16:17 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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