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Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/19/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/19/2025 12:04:06 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the shocking announcement that he was suffering from stage 4 prostate cancer, former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that Joe Biden was 100% cancer-free.

Jean-Pierre assured the American people that the cancer-riddled former president had received a clean bill of health and that, despite Biden suffering from metastatic cancer, it in no way meant that he was suffering from metastatic cancer.

"He is as fit, healthy, and free of cancer as I've ever seen him," she told reporters. "I know there are a lot of reports going around today about President Biden's health, but I want to be perfectly clear about this. Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean what everyone thinks it means. It means he has cancer, but that doesn't necessarily mean he has cancer. Having cancer and having cancer are two very different things. And while President Biden has cancer, I can assure everyone that he is cancer-free."

Questions have been raised about the timing of Biden's diagnosis, with many people, including doctors, expressing the belief that administration officials have known for some time and kept it from the public. "That would be ridiculous," Jean-Pierre said in response. "We had the most transparent administration in this nation's history. We were completely up front about everything, even the things we covered up and kept hidden from everyone."

At publishing time, Jean-Pierre notified the media that even though Biden had passed away shortly before the 2020 election, he still went down in history books as the only man to posthumously win an election, serve a full term as president, and be diagnosed with cancer.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

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1 posted on 05/19/2025 12:04:06 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG
What? Dark, Haitian voodoo.

2 posted on 05/19/2025 12:07:12 PM PDT by Governor Dinwiddie ( O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is gracious, and His mercy endures forever. — Psalm 106)
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To: DFG

3 posted on 05/19/2025 12:08:42 PM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Magnum44

Perdect.


4 posted on 05/19/2025 12:11:43 PM PDT by dljordan (The Rewards of Tolerance are Treachery and Betrayal)
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To: DFG

Did anyone tell her that he is not President anymore so she can stop the act?

Or did someone tell her and she failed understand?


5 posted on 05/19/2025 12:20:56 PM PDT by Openurmind (AI - An Illusion for Aptitude Intrusion to Alter Intellect. )
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To: DFG

Heh!


6 posted on 05/19/2025 12:30:23 PM PDT by sauropod (Make sure Satan has to climb over a lot of Scripture to get to you. John MacArthur Ne supra crepidam)
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To: Openurmind

Did you note where this article came from?


7 posted on 05/19/2025 12:48:04 PM PDT by crz
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To: DFG

Morning Joe has no comment


8 posted on 05/19/2025 12:59:05 PM PDT by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: crz

I was being sarcastic...


9 posted on 05/19/2025 1:03:19 PM PDT by Openurmind (AI - An Illusion for Aptitude Intrusion to Alter Intellect. )
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To: DFG

THE BEE NAILS IT


10 posted on 05/19/2025 1:23:36 PM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: Openurmind

You wanna see something?
Take a look at the coronal hole on the sun.

They say the largest ever seen.


11 posted on 05/19/2025 2:44:36 PM PDT by crz
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To: DFG

And Karine should know since she is a brilliant Scientist.


12 posted on 05/19/2025 4:28:03 PM PDT by chopperk (airhiger)
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