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Newsom to Close Another State Prison [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 May 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/19/2025 10:14:15 AM PDT by John Semmens

California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) is calling for the closing of another state prison in his proposed budget for the next fiscal year. It will be the fifth prison closed during his two terms as governor. He said "the notion that we can successfully suppress crime by incarcerating offenders is mistaken. The internal environments of our prisons don't strike me as effective. Every prison has gangs that intimidate and terrorize inmates such that the only way to survive is by joining a gang. It is inhumane to subject anyone to this type of life."

The Governor says he is "confident that our 'pincer strategy' of decriminalizing moderate amounts of theft with a lenient adjudication can keep more of our offenders on the outside. Knowing you are less likely to be sent to prison makes you less desperate and less of a danger to society. An underappreciated side of this is that a sentence of community service instead of incarceration can build character in a way that years in a cell can't."

"The money we save by shutting down another prison can be redirected to two higher priorities," he pointed out. "First, the chronically delayed and over-budget high speed rail project could use another infusion of several billions of dollars. Second, the growing medical needs of millions of migrants to whom we given sanctuary demands a growing infusion of tax revenue to fund this vital health care."

Ironically, this latter proposed use of the money redirected to funding medical care for illegal migrants is the subject of an investigation by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). "Radical left politicians in California prioritize illegal aliens over our own citizens, including by giving illegal aliens access to cash benefits," said DHS Secretary Kristi Noem. "The Trump Administration is working together to identify abuse and exploitation of public benefits and make sure those in this country illegally are not receiving federal benefits or other financial incentives to stay here illegally. Persons who are in this country illegally need to leave now. DHS will assist their departure. By voluntarily leaving they will eligible to return in the future through the legal immigration protocols."

Newsom belittled Noem's advice, saying "those immigrants who have already done the hardest part of getting into this country shouldn't be swayed by her insincere offer. As long as Trump and his successors run the federal government these migrants will never be allowed back. Their better option is to stay, register to vote, and cast their ballots for Democrats who will defend their interests in perpetuity."

Noem pointed out that "Gov. Newsom's advice is for illegal immigrants to continue to break the law, to compound the charges against them by illegally registering to vote and casting ballots in elections in which it is illegal for them to participate. The federal government may be forced to prosecute, convict, and place him in a federal prison that is not scheduled for shutdown."


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: decriminalization; illegals; noem; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion

1 posted on 05/19/2025 10:14:15 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Gruesome Newsome is truly a fool.


2 posted on 05/19/2025 10:15:38 AM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who youโ€™ll know me as)
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To: John Semmens

Hmmmmmm! Maybe put them workin’ on the railroad all the live long day?


3 posted on 05/19/2025 10:21:54 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this๐Ÿ’ฉ? ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’‰! ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‘!)
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To: John Semmens

Prison does not work, eh??

So why do criminals run from police when being pursued? Because they do not want to lose their “freedom” by being incarcerated. They certainly do not run to diversion schools such as “coding” to get out of a life of crime.


4 posted on 05/19/2025 10:28:55 AM PDT by llevrok (Keep buggering on!)
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To: John Semmens

Who needs prisons when you have ample room on the streets!

He’s accelerating the conversion of Cali cities into open air prisons. LMAO!


5 posted on 05/19/2025 10:32:41 AM PDT by Rich21IE
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To: llevrok

He should close all the colleges and make them homeless campuses with mental health and addiction clinics.


6 posted on 05/19/2025 10:58:20 AM PDT by cnsmom
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Lol


7 posted on 05/19/2025 10:58:52 AM PDT by Freeleesy
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To: Freeleesy

Save California, put Newscum in prison for life.


8 posted on 05/19/2025 11:00:41 AM PDT by Colt1851Navy (What was wrong with Nixon?)
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To: John Semmens

California one of the first state to close all most all of it’s mental institutions that was a huge fail no wonder it turned into a shit hole state.

More grease on the slop guys


9 posted on 05/19/2025 11:16:43 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: John Semmens

Let criminals walk free to commit crime while using prison money for the train to no where
Gavin is so very stoopid


10 posted on 05/19/2025 12:30:13 PM PDT by Joe Boucher (Kimber .45 Be Kind.)
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