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Posted on 05/11/2025 9:02:42 AM PDT by DFG
Hey, it's Mother's Day! That means it's time to start thinking about shopping for Mother's Day. But just because it's the actual holiday, like, right now, doesn't mean you can't still get the special mother in your life something super thoughtful and caring.
Here are 11 things you can grab for her at the gas station on the way home from church. Like, right now. Hurry.
1. $10 worth of lotto scratchers - Nothing says "I love you" like a chance at being a millionaire. Classy!
2. A six-pack of Natty Ice and a pack of mom's favorite smokes - Even classier!
3. For the big spender, get a gallon of gas - Not everyone can afford this one, but if you have the means, splurge a little. It'll mean the world to her.
4. A 5-hour energy shot - Actually better go with a six-pack to give mom enough energy to get through the week.
5. A bottle of windshield washer fluid - Every time mom cleans a bug's splatted guts off her windshield, she'll remember your thoughtfulness.
6. A hot dog/fountain soda combo - Both a hot dog AND a soda? Boy, do you love this woman, or what!
7. A pair of nice speakers a nice man in the parking lot is selling out of his trunk - Seems legit!
8. One of those giant teddy bears that absolutely doesn't scream "I forgot about Mother's Day until this very moment and am compensating with a gigantic teddy bear." - It doesn't scream that, at all.
9. A prepackaged egg salad sandwich that expired 2 weeks ago - The way to the heart is through the stomach!
10. Four Loko - So mom can go loco tonight!
11. Chick tract you found in the bathroom - For the shopper on a budget. What better gift can you give that special mom in your life than eternal life? Hopefully she'll do you a quick solid and accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior!
¡Arriba, arriba! ¡Ándale, ándale!
Click here: to donate by Credit Card
Or here: to donate by PayPal
Or by mail to: Free Republic, LLC - PO Box 9771 - Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you very much and God bless you.
The sad part is, I thought this was a real article by a jerk journolist.
Glad it was the Bee!
Don’t forget sushi;-)
it works!
This is a good one.
At the gas station?
Or you could stop at Texas Roadhouse steakhouse and get $50 gift certificate. My mom would have liked that more than anything. She did love her a good ribeye.
Pity they’ve removed the condom dispensers from the gas stations. Nothing says “I love you and I don’t want a little brother” like a rubber and a French tickler.
Glad to see the guys who worked at Mad Magazine got jobs when it closed :)
Jarbenza. At least that’s practical. (And no, I’m not going to explain the Jarbenza.)
Sushi on sale Friday.
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