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'Christianity Today' Announces It Has Converted To Islam
Babylon Bee ^ | 04/25/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/25/2025 12:43:48 PM PDT by DFG

CAROL STREAM, IL — Long-running religious magazine and online publication Christianity Today announced on Friday that it had converted to Islam.

"After looking deep within ourselves, we decided that it was time for the magazine to convert fully over to Islam, the religion of peace," said Editor-in-Chief Russell Moore. "Islam is way less controversial and just makes more sense for us."

According to sources, subscriptions to the magazine were unaffected by the conversion because Christians don't subscribe to Christianity Today anyway.

In an online article making the announcement, Moore wrote that Islam was superior because it didn't follow trinitarian doctrine. "I've had so much trouble explaining the Trinity, a problem Islam has solved by not believing in it," he wrote. "And in Islam, Jesus is not divine, which makes it so much easier to carry on our standard practice of disregarding his teachings."

While addressing doctrinal differences made up the bulk of Moore's article, he also noted how much he loved hijabs. "My wife has never looked like like a real person who should have rights," he wrote.

According to sources, the upcoming May issue of the print edition was expected to be nearly indistinguishable from past issues because Muslims had been writing for the magazine this whole time.

At publishing time, Islam Today announced it had converted to agnosticism after learning that Islamic leaders routinely threw gay people off the tops of tall buildings. Agnostic Today will launch this fall.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
https://www.christianitytoday.com/2025/04/was-jesus-crucified-with-nails/
1 posted on 04/25/2025 12:43:48 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

That leaves a mark.


2 posted on 04/25/2025 12:46:16 PM PDT by alternatives?
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To: DFG

The Bee does it again! Really laughed hard outloud with this one!


3 posted on 04/25/2025 12:46:30 PM PDT by ne1410s (2 Tim 4:3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine.)
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To: DFG

A few days ago I had an idea for a Babylon Bee headline: “Catholics protest nationwide as flags are lowered in honor of Pope Francis.


4 posted on 04/25/2025 12:49:21 PM PDT by Steve_Seattle
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To: DFG

In many ways, the mags title represents , “Christianity Today” with many Christians accepting abortions, unrepentant gay practices, showmanship, excising out sections of God’s Word because they cannot believe it Should title their mag, Christian Unbelievers today”


5 posted on 04/25/2025 12:51:30 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find. )
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To: DFG
At publishing time, Islam Today announced it had converted to agnosticism after learning that Islamic leaders routinely threw gay people off the tops of tall buildings. Agnostic Today will launch this fall.

They will reconvert when they discover that mohammedans are just fine with raping children.

Even Agnostics draw the line before that point.

6 posted on 04/25/2025 12:52:43 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear ( Not my circus. Not my monkeys. But I can pick out the clowns at 100 yards.)
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To: DFG

“Christians don’t subscribe to Christianity Today anyway.”

Ain’t that the truth!


7 posted on 04/25/2025 12:57:26 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (It's hard not to celebrate the fall of bad people. - Bongino)
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To: DFG

Russell Moore . . .if it’s the same SBC Russell Moore that speaks volumes.


8 posted on 04/25/2025 1:09:37 PM PDT by Maudeen (https://patburt.com/ (a true story to share); https://thereishopeinjesus.com/)
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To: DFG
According to sources, subscriptions to the magazine were unaffected by the conversion because Christians don't subscribe to Christianity Today anyway.

Ouch, LOL.

9 posted on 04/25/2025 1:26:07 PM PDT by mykroar ("It's Not the Nature of the Evidence; It's the Seriousness of the Charge." - El Rushbo)
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To: DFG

Babylon Bee is biased if don’t come back with something along the lines Jews for Hamas.


10 posted on 04/25/2025 1:35:21 PM PDT by Biblebelter
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To: Biblebelter

Except Jews for Hamas wouldn’t be satire. Several in Congress, many in Hollywood, and a couple hundred thousand in Israel.


11 posted on 04/25/2025 1:48:09 PM PDT by jjotto ( Blessed are You LORD, who crushes enemies and subdues the wicked.)
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To: DFG
John chapter 20, seems to indicate nails were used. I assume nails were used, because the song indicates there were.

Otherwise, the Greene’s wouldn’t sing this song. 😜

https://youtu.be/sJ23Sqy3sK4?si=AgvYVfKgR-AoTpIq

12 posted on 04/25/2025 1:54:51 PM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of USAF ISR pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: DFG; alternatives?; ne1410s; Getready; MayflowerMadam; mykroar; Biblebelter

At my last job, I worked for Northwest Christian College and its mascot name was the Crusaders. It is now Bushnell University, and the mascot name is the Beacons, whatever those are. It is in Eugene Oregon and across the street from the University of Oregon. I am sure it is still regarded as a form of skin cancer by all those who have any influence in the city.


13 posted on 04/25/2025 2:24:55 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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