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Dems: We Need More Immigrants [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 April 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/14/2025 11:06:53 AM PDT by John Semmens

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Tex) lashed out at President Trump for "destroying the symbiotic relationship we Democrats has been building with immigrants under our policy of open borders. We Blacks have done our time picking cotton so whites could live the good life. Well, we done pickin' cotton. Now its time for someone else to do the pickin' fo us. The millions of new immigrants can pay back our generosity by doing the back-breaking agricultural work that needs to be done, the house-cleaning, lawn-mowing, and all the other jobs we done doin."

Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) admitted "while I lack the specific life experience that makes Rep. Crockett the ideal spokesperson for the cause of importing more foreign labor, I can attest to the unrecognized importance of keeping the flow coming in. It's estimated that half of California's farmer workforce is undocumented. How are farmers in California supposed to survive if there are truly mass deportations in which half of the workforce is sent out of the country? Americans don't want to do that work. It's frankly too backbreaking. So, who's going to work the farms?"

New York City Mayor Eric Adams wondered "why are all these presumed field workers coming to New York City? There are no agricultural jobs for them. The Biden Administration sent us money to put them up in hotels and feed them. Now the Trump Administration is discontinuing those subsidies. How are we supposed to take care of these people?"

"You're not supposed to take care of them," President Trump said. "They're in the country illegally. They need to go back where they came from. Of course, your predecessor decreeing New York a sanctuary city created expectations that can't be fulfilled. A sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection. Providing these things takes money. For a while, the Biden Administration was willing to pay by borrowing beyond our means to repay the debt. This can't go on. We have to cut federal government spending before we go bankrupt. This means sending foreigners who cannot support themselves to work--either back in their home countries or in jobs they can do here. They cannot continue to live here at the taxpayers' expense."

In related news, DOGE reports that Department of Labor records show it has paid 24,500 people over 115 years of age $59 million in benefits, 28,000 people between 1 and 5 years of age were paid $254 million in benefits, and 9,700 people with birth dates over 15 years in the future were paid $69 million in benefits. Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-Deremer insisted that "we cannot abide this fraud draining away taxpayers' hard-earned money."

Sen. Schiff pointed out that "someone is counting on these payments to sustain their existence. Cutting them off will have a human cost that Musk and Trump are not considering. This is why DOGE must be stopped."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: adams; crockett; postandrun; satire; schiff; selfpromotion; trump

1 posted on 04/14/2025 11:06:53 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Now that tons of the more than 120 year old people have been removed from voting rolls, Demonrats got to find SOME way to get more votes!


2 posted on 04/14/2025 11:43:08 AM PDT by milagro (There is no peace in appeasement! Thereon)
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To: John Semmens

Jasmin hasn’t got the word that nobody has been oicking cotton for 70 years. The first practical cotton picking machine came out during WWII and could replace 40 surly lazy ass cotton pickers like Ms Crocket. You’d have to beat her so hard to get her to work you might as well pick it yourself. That is why slavery failed and why it set the South and the country back 100 years. She wants reparations? What the hell does she thing welfare, medicaid, section 8 housing, and DEI are?


3 posted on 04/14/2025 12:42:56 PM PDT by your other brother
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To: John Semmens

Great idea. Let’s have more white people apply for visas.


4 posted on 04/14/2025 1:25:49 PM PDT by Enterprise ( These people have no honor, no belief, no poetry, no art, no humor, no patriotism.)
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