Senator Booker's "Awesome Speech" [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 April 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

This week, Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) held sway in the US Senate for 25 straight hours for his lamentations on the policies of the Trump Administration. The record-breaking feat was aided by donning an adult diaper so he wouldn't have to interrupt his remarks to use the restroom.

Pollster Frank Luntz was so impressed by the speech that he declared "what Cory Booker did may have changed the course of history. That a man would so bravely risk fatigue and discomfort showed a modicum of character that has been sadly lacking among his peers in the Democratic Party. I think this clearly makes Cory Booker one of the front runners for the Party's 2028 presidential nomination."

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) agreed, saying "I think Booker's speech combined with the near wins of two Democrats in the ruby red districts of Florida will be seen by historians as the turning point for the battle to save our democracy. Within a year the phenomenon of Trump's vain attempt to make America great again will be just a memory. Within a decade no one will be permitted to mention his name without being jailed for contempt of court. Within a generation there will be no record that he ever existed."

Booker said "what I am most proud of is the fact that the previous record for the longest speech was set by Sen. Strom Thurmond (D-SC) in 1957. Seeing this racist's name erased from the record book is my most significant achievement since I've been in the Senate."

In related news, Kevin Batts, a "special assistant" to Sen. Booker, was arrested for carrying a handgun into the Capitol. Booker himself assisted Batts' evasion of the metal detector "because he has been both an employee and a friend of mine since I was the Mayor of Newark. He's exactly the kind of person who needs to be exempt from the gun control restrictions required to protect ordinary Americans from being shot."

[John Semmens]

ping

[rfp1234]

Fartacus has spoken!

[Cobra64]

I could never stand that arrogant prick even going back to when he was a lousy mayor of Newark, NJ.

[InkStone]

Has God removed His ‘hedge of protection’ from America, allowing all manner of foolishness and wickedness? ONLY revival to God, thru faith in Jesus Yeshua, will save our republic.

[Liz]

Peace-loving Democrat

Law abiding, faithful Booker aide Kevin Batts,
"a really nice guy"--arrested for carrying gun into the Capitol.

[Liz]

Brilliantly insightful House Minority Democrat Hakeem Jeffries said it all:
“Booker’s speech combined with the near wins of two Democrats in ruby red Florida
will be seen by historians as the turning point for the battle to save our democracy.”

rotflol

[Equine1952]

The only thing awesome about the speech was the peckerhead did it without peeing on the podium. As a 70+ year old prostate cancer survivor, I find that amazing. Otherwise he’s just another horseass Dem. IMO

[American Infidel]

Booker thinks he is the next incarnation of obama. Although he only refers to himself as being "black", he is a biracial product of a white parent and a black parent, both of whom held corporate positions at IBM and raised Booker in a well-to-do, predominantly white suburb in northern NJ. He has no "street cred" at all, so he had to try to fabricate it before running for mayor of Newark, NJ by moving to Newark (likely with personal security) in order to ingratiate himself to the locals and send the message that "I am one of you" despite my upper middle-class upbringing. He is a complete fabrication.

If there is so much so-called "white privilege", why is it that people on the left with even a drop of black heritage call themselves "black" instead of "white"? The fact of the matter is that perceived victimhood is rewarded. It is politically advantageous for Booker to call himself "black" because he can then brand anyone who criticizes him or disagrees with him as "racist". Nothing but a grift, but being a "victim" or an "oppressed minority" are things that can be effectively weaponized. I would argue that Booker is the "racist" for disavowing or trying to erase the white half of his heritage.

[Bernard]

So Cory Booker goes in the books as the first Senator who admits publicly to wearing a diaper in the Senate chamber. He should have been wearing a shoulder patch logo of the product, just like a NASCAR driver. In fact, all of the Senators and members of the HOR should be wearing advertising for whoever bribes them the most.

Then again, the last time a diaper was featured in a news story was when that crazy wife of an astronaut wore one when she dove a long distance so she could attack her husband's lover.

[Liz]

.....Senators and members of the House should be sporting
advertising logos for whoever bribes them the most........

---

I like it.

[Liz]

Q. There’s so much “white privilege”, so why do lefties w/ a drop of blackness label themselves “black”?

A. It’s because “victimhood” is rewarded. It is politically advantageous for bi-racial Booker to call himself “black” because he can brand anyone who criticizes him or disagrees with him as “racist”.

---

Nice deconstruction.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

There is something mentally wrong with Booker in my opinion. I was watching parts of his speech and I really wondered if he's schizophrenic. He's got the insane bug eyes and seems to be in his own world, one that makes absolutely no sense to anyone but him. The screaming, ranting, raving, crying, and nobody knows what the hell he's talking about or what kind of logic he has which seems to be none.

I posted this picture on his Twitter account....

[Fireone]

Good one, John!
That last line is so on point!

[Redleg Duke]

” Brilliantly insightful House Minority Democrat Hakeem Jeffries said it all: “Booker’s speech combined with the near wins of two Democrats in ruby red Florida will be seen by historians as the turning point for the battle to save our democracy.”

IOW: “If you think my face looks bad, you ought to see the other guy’s fist!

[smokingfrog]

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4015347/posts

[faucetman]

“what Cory Booker did may have changed the course of history.

Are you NUTS? Booger is. He is a NOBODY. He will NOT be remembered in history AT ALL!

He is an embarrassment to his country, his party, and his race.

Every time he opens his mouth, all that comes out is nonsense. Here we had 25 hours of NONSENSE!

[ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas]

Feats of strength

[Albion Wilde]

That a man would so bravely risk fatigue and discomfort showed a modicum of character that has been sadly lacking among his peers in the Democratic Party.

"I do not think "modicum" means what Luntz thinks it means."