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Attorney General Reminds Americans That Questioning The 2024 Election Is Illegal Unless Trump Wins
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/26/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/26/2024 2:24:04 PM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General Merrick Garland responded to questions about election integrity and the peaceful transfer of power Friday by reminding everyone that questioning the results of a lawful election is illegal — unless Trump wins.

"I think our prosecutions have made it clear what we think about people who try to interfere with the peaceful transfer of power, which is an essential and fundamental part of our democracy," Garland said, threatening everyone in the room. "But it's still okay if Trump wins seeing as he can't win, so if he does win, then obviously something fishy went down and we've got to contest the election right away since that lawful election was, in fact, not lawful since Trump won."

The room full of reporters quickly followed that up with: "What?"

"Kamala Harris? Good. Trump? Bad." Garland explained.

"Ohhhhhhhh!" said a reporter from the Washington Post. "Now I get it!"

Garland continued, "I think our prosecutorial record has shown to everyone how seriously we take this. If you contest the results of an election and interfere with the peaceful transfer of power we will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law — again, the one exception being if you complain about a Trump victory."

At publishing time, Merrick Garland prosecuted the entire White House Press Corps for asking questions.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2024; babylonbee; election; garland; merrick; r

1 posted on 08/26/2024 2:24:04 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Is that Lavrentiy Beria Garland you’re criminally referring to ?


2 posted on 08/26/2024 2:30:48 PM PDT by A strike ("Rise Peter, kill and eat.")
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To: A strike

Funny


3 posted on 08/26/2024 3:00:12 PM PDT by ptsal (Vote R.E.D. >>>Remove Every Democrat ***)
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To: DFG

If against all odds Trump wins, Merrick Garland should be the first one fired.


4 posted on 08/26/2024 3:30:43 PM PDT by Carry_Okie (The tree of liberty needs a rope.)
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To: DFG

If only that were satire.


5 posted on 08/26/2024 7:07:34 PM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus”)
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