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Kamala Admits She Can't Remember If She Was In Charge Of Border As She Was Pretty Drunk These Last 4 Years And Honestly It’s All A Bit Hazy
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/27/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/27/2024 12:57:50 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. — After initially denying having anything to do with the border crisis, Vice President Kamala Harris admitted today that she may not be remembering correctly as she's been really drunk the past four years straight and it's all a bit of a fog.

"Honestly, I've been so wasted -- who knows what I did the past four years," said Harris, dumping another Tito's shooter into her tumbler. "Border czar?? Whatever you say, man."

According to sources, Harris reflexively denied all responsibility for the border catastrophe as she had no memory of having ever visited the border. "I figured if I was responsible for the border I would have gone, like, once," said Harris adding a wine cooler to her tumbler. "I guess I've been so blackout drunk for the past four years, I just don't remember. Geez, it looks like it was pretty bad, huh?"

With Biden stepping aside, the Vice President's team has been reportedly explaining to her all of the jobs she did during the past administration while she was plastered. "Yes, you really did go to Europe to try to keep Ukraine from being invaded. No, it didn't turn out well," explained aide Regina Callahan. "Do you remember talking about yellow school buses? How about outer space? Oh man, we have a lot to cover."

At publishing time, Kamala had furiously argued that if she had twice been a presidential candidate, surely one person in the nation had voted for her - before again confessing that she's been heavily inebriated the past decade and it's possible she could be slightly off.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; border; czar; drunk; drunkkamala; kamala; vp; wino
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To: realcleanguy

Right. You’d think that would make an impression on a lot more people.


21 posted on 07/27/2024 4:20:26 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: DFG

Drunk?

Washington DC legalized recreational cannabis years ago. The smoke shops are abundant with weed, gummies, shatter, oils etc... they’re all stoned, if they choose to be.

Whiz quiz? hahahahaha don’t be so naive.


22 posted on 07/27/2024 4:26:00 PM PDT by Clutch Martin ("The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right." )
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To: alloysteel

Californians know who she is. But will probably vote for her anyways.

California always seems to want the rest of the country fix their own self-inflicted problems


23 posted on 07/27/2024 4:28:00 PM PDT by tsowellfan
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