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Posted on 07/22/2024 11:20:26 AM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to questions that arose from his supposedly resigning from the race and going missing for several days, the White House revealed that Joe Biden would make an official statement today via Ouija board.
"Starting today, the president will answer all questions from the Great Beyond," said black and gay White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is gay and black. "This is in no way meant to suggest the President is dead or anything. He's totally alive. I just saw him a few minutes ago, I promise."
The administration made the announcement in an effort to calm the controversy that swept through the nation's capital and throughout the country after Biden posted a letter on social media notifying everyone that he was stepping down from the race. Staffers hoped allowing the President to communicate with the media through the paranormal board game would ease any lingering uncertainty about his current whereabouts and condition.
The White House clarified that a translator would also be on hand to interpret anything Biden said via the Ouija board due to the likelihood that it would be unintelligible.
At publishing time, insiders were also planning a séance to be held later in the week to clear up any lingering questions left over from the Oujia board press conference.
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Thank you very much and God bless you.
K, thanks.
Yeah! That is EXACTLY what I’m wondering.
Point taken, but on blank paper, not even on official campaign letterhead or anything, with an obviously auto-penned signature? Still smells rotten.
The letter was prepared by a Russian hacker.
It’s still not normal.
A Ouija Board, AKA “the talking board,” is simply a flat board that contains a specific pattern of numbers and letters that can be used to talk to the dead.
The Ouija board is often tied to the occult but is also sold in mass amounts by the DNC.
A Ouija Board, AKA “the talking board,” is simply a flat board that contains a specific pattern of numbers and letters that can be used to talk to the dead.
The Ouija board is often tied to the occult but is also sold in mass amounts by the DNC.
Since its inception newspapers have reported on its use as a way to communicate with the dead, solve mysteries, commit crimes and predict elections.
The Bee should know their Bible better….
King Saul found out the hard way…. Don’t go necromancy with the Witch of Endor.
I don’t even like to joke about “boards”.
So Joe and his entire abhorrent family have gone into exile in Siberia? That’s as good a guess as any.
No one‘s asking where is Joe Biden..... no video of him on Sunday or today on any liberal media outlet or any conservative outlet..... anyone if Joe Biden is still alive or what?.... did they make the decision to put Harris up therer for a dead corpse thy’re hiding?
His brother did say they would now have ‘whatever time we have left together.”
Is Joe dying?....so the family is gathering together?
"Today's show brought to you by the letter 'L'; as in Leftist, Liberal and Liar."
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