Posted on 07/09/2024 2:31:47 PM PDT by DFG
U.S. — With campaigning for November's elections running at full speed and polls showing GOP candidates building sizeable leads, the Republican Party rushed to implement an emergency platform change after seeing how close they were to winning a landslide victory.
Struggles on the Democratic side of the ticket, including the growing scandal surrounding President Joe Biden's cognitive ability, led to Republicans gaining tremendous momentum in recent weeks, causing leaders to shift gears and push for changes to the GOP platform in hopes of avoiding any decisive wins in November.
"We were just getting way too close to winning big," said Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Whatley. "Some of these recent polls really got us spooked and concerned that we might actually run away with this thing, so we knew we had to take drastic steps to avoid steamrolling our competition. These changes to our platform should help frustrate, anger, and alienate enough of our loyal voters to make the races a lot closer."
The updated GOP platform included changes or outright omissions of longstanding Republican stances on abortion and traditional marriage, giving the party the negative reaction it was looking for from lifelong GOP voters. "Thankfully, there's been some good backlash," Whatley said. "With any luck, we'll see our leads start shrinking as we head into the home stretch of these campaigns. We don't want to do anything that might put us at risk of ensuring total victory."
At publishing time, Republican insiders revealed the party was also preparing to abandon other foundational values on issues like immigration, taxes, election security, and the 2nd Amendment to make sure they don't receive too many votes in November.
Clown world is here, the Bee tells the truth and the rest of the news is a joke.
When something bad is happening, Lindsey always tells us what he is going to do about it, then when the fervor drops off he forgets to do anything about it! This has happened so many times that I don’t pay any attention to him. He is totally useless!
Imagine this disarray happening in October which would typical.
Amen, Unc...
So many here just luuuvvvv Trump...until he makes a decision they don’t agree with personally, then he’s an idiot.
As Clint Eastwood aptly put it, “opinions are like assholes, and everybody’s got one”. Fortunately they make as much difference...
Plenty were posting that his doing the debate at all was a mistake.
The stuff is def not flattering.
The Babylon Bee slips into real reporting far too often these days.
They’re right. Republicans LOVE to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory.
LOL i love these guys
Sorry. Abortion is no longer a national issue. Take it up with your state.
HAR..... classic Bee.
The Bee ain’t lyin’!
Early on slavery was a state issue. But it seems to have been much more—and was consumed by moral truth in the midst of armed conflict. Truth eventually erodes all that opposes it. History jumps, loops dodges and dives until we get to see it in time as it sets its own course and speed for our view.
This issue takes finesse. You want to dive headlong into more election looses be my guest. We have to play the long game right now. It’s reality.
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