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Washington Post Shifting to AI [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 May 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/27/2024 11:00:17 AM PDT by John Semmens

The Washington Post's CEO Will Lewis, announced that "we will be replacing most of our human reporters with artificial intelligence (AI). We are in a hole, and we have been for some time. It's clear that we cannot afford to continue as we have been. Many on our staff have already been submitting AI-generated text as their own work. They have, effectively, made themselves redundant. So, we are eliminating the middle men, their salaries, and their benefits. The electricity to run our AI is dirt-cheap by comparison."

Recently, Google's AI has recommended "adding glue to pizza sauce" and suggested that "tweens could improve their mental performance by smoking tobacco."

Lewis professed himself to be "untroubled by the Google AI's seemingly bizarre advice. Humans aren't necessarily the best judges of whether these recommendations are bad advice. AI can run rings around mere human thinking. Rather than recoil at new and strange ideas perhaps we should give them a try. I mean, school performances have been trending down for decades. Maybe more tobacco vaping could turn this around."

"From the perspective of our newspaper, the database of words already written and available for the AI to use is vast," Lewis pointed out. "AI can quickly mine this database and produce articles and reports that can pass as real news. Focus group research has already shown that virtually none of our readers can tell the difference between original content and AI regurgitated word salads. In any case, it is the last hope for keeping the Washington Post going."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,532666.0.html


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: media; satire; vaping; wordsalads

1 posted on 05/27/2024 11:00:17 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The good news... At least now they will have somebody who’s ‘intelligent’ on staff. Something they’ve been lacking throughout history.


2 posted on 05/27/2024 11:01:30 AM PDT by jerod (Nazis were essentially Socialist in Hugo Boss uniforms... Get over it!)
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To: John Semmens

Artificial Indoctrination, for when the Washington Post finds natural indoctrination to be too expensive to produce anymore.


3 posted on 05/27/2024 11:07:24 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Democrats' version of MAGA: Making America the Gulag Archipelago. Now with "Formal Deprogramming")
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To: John Semmens

How does AI got out and interview a witness or victim? How does it interview anyone or gather evidence or notes for a news story? Will they just be an AI aggregator and still the work product of others, rewrite it into gibberish with their AI?


4 posted on 05/27/2024 11:10:58 AM PDT by Reno89519 (Build the Wall, Deport Them All. No amnesty for anyone.)
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To: John Semmens

Their AI has the same source as their reporters had, but their reporters have cost them money. So, they made the move to go with the AI. 🤣


5 posted on 05/27/2024 11:14:10 AM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: John Semmens

AI is CRAP ,LOL


6 posted on 05/27/2024 11:20:19 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens

Well, who would notice. It will still be all commie trash slanted. Think on it. AI is written by humans. If based in SanJose, Ca, commie trash by 90%. So, the AI will be slanted no less than anything coming out of Google/YTube/CCP.

Oh, you claim that AI learns? BullSh! Look at the kids coming out of Uni nowadays. What have they been taught — by the same commie trash?


7 posted on 05/27/2024 11:42:33 AM PDT by bobbo666 (Baizuo, )
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To: John Semmens

I guess Artificial Intelligence is better than no intelligence at all.

(Yes, I know this is satire.)


8 posted on 05/27/2024 12:23:42 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (The worst thing about censorship is █████ ██ ████ ████ ████ █ ███████ ████. FJB.)
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