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"Pardon Pledge Will Sink Trump's Campaign" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/06/2024 11:58:13 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week, Karl Rove, the political genius who guided former President George W. Bush to two election victories, predicted that Trump's pledge to review all the cases of the January 6 defendants and pardon those who deserve clemency"will sink his campaign. There isn't an innocent person in the whole bunch. They illegally trespassed on government property while official proceedings were underway."

Rove rejected claims that the mostly peaceful January 6 demonstrators should be treated the same way that those demonstrating against the death of George Floyd in 2020 while in the custody of Minneapolis police officers were, saying "none of the Floyd protesters terrified the members of Congress like the January 6 crowd did. The billions of dollars in property damage and the 19 deaths that occurred during the Floyd protests did not directly challenge the right of the national government's rule over the people. They were not insurrectionists."

One of the "thugs" that Rove feels needs to be taught to obey the law is 71-year-old grandmother Rebecca Lavrenz. This week she was convicted of entering the Capitol through wide-open doors at 2:43 pm on January 6, 2021 and exiting at 2:53 pm. The penalty for her misdemeanor infractions could amount to fines up to $200,000 and up to one year of imprisonment.

Meanwhile, the Department of Justice (DOJ) has refused to disclose the identity of suspected FBI agents present in the January 6 crowd. January 6 defendant William Pope asserts that "they are witnesses crucial to my defense." A redacted DOJ spokesman explained that "every advanced nation has secret police. We can't expect to keep up with our adversaries if we don't exploit this same capability. The enemies of democracy are the most serious problem this country has ever had to face. Suppressing this threat is a risky job. The identities of the brave men, women and non-binary individuals doing this job must remain private. There is already enough evidence to convict Mr. Pope without any testimony from these agents."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,528893.0.html


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: doj; fbi; georgefloyd; jan6; karlrove; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion; thugs; turd; turdblossom; witnesses
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To: falcon99

I agree there falcon99
Good job


21 posted on 04/06/2024 3:10:48 PM PDT by Joe Boucher (Kimber .45 Be Kind.)
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To: joesbucks

You deserve death.


22 posted on 04/06/2024 3:13:07 PM PDT by Lazamataz (We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We ar)
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To: Lazamataz

We all do at some point in time. None of us get out alive.


23 posted on 04/06/2024 4:08:03 PM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: joesbucks

No but I want your death to be torturous and slow. And painful.


24 posted on 04/06/2024 6:06:52 PM PDT by Lazamataz (We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We ar)
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To: joesbucks

I wish pancreatic cancer on you.


25 posted on 04/06/2024 6:33:46 PM PDT by Lazamataz (We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We ar)
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To: joesbucks

DIE


26 posted on 04/06/2024 7:14:12 PM PDT by Lazamataz (We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We ar)
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To: Lazamataz

Not my time.


27 posted on 04/06/2024 7:28:00 PM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: Lazamataz

You wish pancreatic cancer on me? How long have your pleasure/reward circuits been on the fritz? You feeling anxious or stressed and that’s your pleasure outlet? Is something triggering the more animalistic parts of your brain stimulating anxiety, irritability, and unease?


28 posted on 04/06/2024 7:36:36 PM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: joesbucks
You wish pancreatic cancer on me?

Painful. Extended.

How long have your pleasure/reward circuits been on the fritz?

Pshaw. Any reasonable person would love to see you writhe in agony.

29 posted on 04/06/2024 9:31:51 PM PDT by Lazamataz (We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We are so screwed. We ar)
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To: Lazamataz

Glad I’m able to bring out the real you. Please, bring it on.


30 posted on 04/06/2024 9:35:31 PM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: joesbucks

Yes. This is the real me, when it comes to my attitude towards stealth liberals infesting the forum.... like you. I want them all to get painful pancreatic cancer.

In fact, check my tagline.


31 posted on 04/07/2024 4:57:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz (To anyone who also wants to see the Stealth Liberal "joesbucks" banned, contact me by Freepmail. )
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To: kiryandil

Put this as your tagline


32 posted on 04/07/2024 4:57:52 AM PDT by Lazamataz (To anyone who also wants to see the Stealth Liberal "joesbucks" banned, contact me by Freepmail. )
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To: Albion Wilde

Re: 16 - who was in charge of the DOJ during those protests?

Who led the House? Senate?


33 posted on 04/07/2024 5:09:32 AM PDT by Fury
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To: Singermom

Re: 6 - that 71 year old grandmother made her own decisions.

The first was going into the Capitol. That was a poor decision.

The second was opting for a trial involving *4* misdemeanors (two of them the more serious A class misdemeanors) instead of opting to negotiate to plead guilty to one B class misdemeanor, which for most 01/06 defendants has resulted in NO incarceration. But she went to trial in a Judicial District that has //95+% conviction rate for 01/06 defendants. That was a questionable decision.


34 posted on 04/07/2024 5:31:04 AM PDT by Fury
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To: John Semmens

A prediction that President Trump will not pardon any violent 01/06 defendants.

So grifting losers like Jake Lang are out of luck.

Wiling to wager on this.


35 posted on 04/07/2024 5:38:20 AM PDT by Fury
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To: Lazamataz

It’s a beautiful sunny morning this morning. Enjoy your day.


36 posted on 04/07/2024 5:54:22 AM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: joesbucks

Incorrect. Wherever you live, Hurricane Laz is moving in.

Let’s get this ‘joesbucks’ bastard banned!


37 posted on 04/07/2024 5:55:48 AM PDT by Lazamataz (To anyone who also wants to see the Stealth Liberal "joesbucks" banned, contact me by Freepmail. )
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To: Lazamataz
No beautiful day. And certainly not the calm before the storm.

Whatcwas it you said about Eschoir?

38 posted on 04/07/2024 6:08:29 AM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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To: joesbucks

You have no idea, do you.


39 posted on 04/07/2024 6:10:38 AM PDT by Lazamataz (To anyone who also wants to see the Stealth Liberal "joesbucks" banned, contact me by Freepmail. )
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To: Lazamataz

I do, but don’t worry about it. Why would I? So I’ll just enjoy my beautiful day while you plot and writhe in your anger. Please continue. What was it you said about Eschoir?


40 posted on 04/07/2024 6:20:41 AM PDT by joesbucks (For 2,000 years Christians have been warning of the Anti-Christ. Now they buy Bibles from him. )
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