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Biden Checks His Latest Poll Numbers To See If Israel Still Has Right To Defend Itself
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/06/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/06/2023 2:15:14 PM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, President Biden has been awaiting results from the latest polls to see if giving Israel a right to defend itself is a popular thing or if they should just be annihilated or whatever.

"The Biden Administration plans to announce harsh condemnation of Hamas or maybe Israel," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, "We're still waiting for pollsters to get back with us on which condemnation is morally just."

Sources say Presidential approval numbers have dropped in recent weeks, as Biden has been torn between appeasing his supporters who are pro-Israel, and appeasing his supporters who want to shed every last drop of Jewish blood until the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are erased from existence.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been overheard disagreeing slightly with the Biden Administration's standing policy of letting poll numbers determine a nation's right to not be swept from the face of the earth. "We would prefer that Biden endorse our right to live," said the Prime Minister diplomatically.

At publishing time, President Biden had called for the complete annihilation of Israel after checking the results of a poll from Harvard University.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; harvard; pollnumbers; pollster

1 posted on 11/06/2023 2:15:14 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Of that I have no doubt.


2 posted on 11/06/2023 2:22:48 PM PST by leaning conservative (snow coming, school cancelled, yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!)
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To: All

According to reliable sources, President Biden has been awaiting poll results to see if
(a) giving Israel a right to defend itself is popular, or, (b) if Israel should just be annihilated.....

......or whatever............

“The Biden Admin plans to announce harsh condemnation of Hamas or, maybe, condemning Israel,” said Press Secy Karine Jean-Pierre, “We’re waiting for pollsters to indicate which condemnation is morally just.”


3 posted on 11/06/2023 2:24:26 PM PST by Liz (“The only time Biden gets his hands dirty is when he’s taking cash from foreign countries." Trump)
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To: All

Biden has been torn between appeasing his supporters who are pro-Israel, and supporters who want to shed every last drop of Jewish blood until the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are erased from existence.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was overheard disagreeing slightly with the Biden Admin. “We would prefer that Biden endorse our right to live,” said the PM diplomatically.

At publishing time, Biden called for the complete annihilation of Israel after checking the results of a student poll from Harvard University.


4 posted on 11/06/2023 2:28:58 PM PST by Liz (“The only time Biden gets his hands dirty is when he’s taking cash from foreign countries." Trump)
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To: DFG

Did not think that was the BEE.


5 posted on 11/06/2023 4:46:01 PM PST by bravo whiskey (Annie Savoy : The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self awareness. )
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To: DFG

You could post that in “Not The Bee”.


6 posted on 11/07/2023 2:25:18 AM PST by Recovering_Democrat
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