In fact, just because you asked, let me bore you with a photo I took near Jasper, Alberta three weeks ago. This guy led his harem down the river bank to the Athabasca River and all of them swim across.
Posted on 10/06/2023 9:42:14 AM PDT by where's_the_Outrage?
A father of three recently revealed to his eldest daughter that he and their mother planned to retire early and spend all their money during retirement—now she and her sister are furious. Here’s what the dad had to say.
The man and his wife are in their mid-40s, both successful in their respective careers and earning an annual combined income of approximately $300,000.
“We’ve both worked hard to get where we are in our careers and thankfully, that means we’re able to provide a good life for our kids. We aren’t rich, and we don’t live beyond our means,” the husband explained.
It was a long road, as the couple was not given handouts or financial support from their own families.
However, with dedication and hard work, the couple secured their financial future and now provided a comfortable life for their three children—two daughters (aged 20 and 17) and an 11-year-old son.
Although the father was keen to express that he and his wife were not exceedingly wealthy, they’d always budgeted well, saved prudently, and ensured their children had a financially stable upbringing.
However, the couple had unconventional plans regarding the provision of a cash inheritance for their children once they eventually passed away.
Rather than working hard for an extra 25 years in order to bequeath a substantial inheritance to their three heirs, the middle-aged couple decided to retire early and enjoy their retirement before they became too frail and elderly to do so.
“We also don’t want our kids to be counting down the days until we die so they can get our money and never work again,” the father said.
Instead of simply working until retirement age and waiting to die so their hard-earned money could be passed on, the couple planned to reap the fruits of their labor while still relatively young.
They decided to retire when their youngest child graduated high school, diving into their savings and traveling extensively.
Although the man admitted that he had a “rainy day” fund set aside for contingencies and unforeseen circumstances, he and his wife didn’t plan on leaving a hefty inheritance.
“We’ve never really brought this up with any of the kids. For one, it’s our money and our business, and for another, they never asked,” the father admitted.
Although the pair had kept their intentions to themselves, they had been sure to instill in their children the importance of self-reliance.
They would pay half of their children’s educational expenses, but they had no intention of offering further financial aid into their adulthoods. They had explained to their children that there would be no more handouts after completing college.
However, when the father experienced a minor health scare (a precancerous mole that turned out to be entirely treatable), the topic of finances and inheritance surfaced during a conversation with their eldest daughter.
Upon hearing of their parents’ plans, their 20-year-old daughter was dismayed. She accused them of prioritizing “partying” over the well-being of their own children.
The parents explained that they weren’t attempting to deprive their kids but rather to instill in them the value of independence, urging them to pave their own paths just as they had done without relying on an eventual windfall.
This did not placate the daughter, and she soon confided in her younger sister. Both daughters were unhappy—not just about receiving no inheritance, but also about the lack of transparency.
The parents believed it was their money and thus their prerogative, with no obligation to disclose financial decisions. Yet, with rising tensions and two upset children, he began second-guessing this stance.
Looking for an objective viewpoint, he shared his story online, hoping for insights into this delicate familial matter and asking if he should have informed his children of their plans.
One person posted, “YTA. You’re not obligated to leave them anything, but your attitude toward them is very sad. It doesn’t seem like you think very highly of your children’s characters.”
Another questioned, “You’re not just planning to have as good a time as you can afford but to use as much as you possibly can. Do you actually even like your kids? Are you resentful that they have cost money to raise, and doing your best to ensure they get nothing is your revenge?”
There is an expectation of ‘some’ level of care and/or assistance. But only to the means where it isn’t burdensome to the children, I think.
Spouses of those with parents in these situations often have no such loyalty/debt obligation and can cause a lot of strife within a marriage.
When it gets to that point and where the parent needs continued care is where the rubber stops meeting the road. Then there’s the search for long-term care institutions that fit a Medicare/Medicaid budget - all the while the ‘children’ looking for a way to hide the parents’ assets from Medicare/Medicaid.
“Who is supposed to help care for you in your old age, assuming you reach it ?”
I told my daughter that I want her to live her life and not worry about carrying for me. I told my wife that if I start needing care to move me back to Thailand and hire three 25 year old “nurses” to care for me.
“His daughter, who couldn’t be bothered to call or visit during those five years threw a fit over the money we spent on him. She had the gall to complain over us wasting her inheritance.”
My God, that is the saddest thing I’ve heard this month.
After what we spend on Food, Housing, Medical, Travel, Vacations, and whatever else, my kids are entitled to what might be left when BOTH my wife and I are gone.
Give money to kids, and most likely they give it to groups like Black Lives Matter.
I would never give wealth to my kids until they have an appreciation for how wealth is earned.
Mick, are you touring in 2024?
Shaquille O’Neil to his kids: “We ain’t rich, I’m rich.
And they'll get back and brag about it to their neighbors while boring the hell out of everyone with their pictures. Just like every tourist does when they go to the same exact places, taking the same exact pictures...lol
“what are they going to do then” [when the money runs out]
Assuming you haven’t already down-sized, you can sell the house and move to an apartment. Of course, not everybody has a home that has appreciated and that may not be possible for everybody. We are fortunate in that regard. Assuming that the SHTF scenario doesn’t happen, the real estate equity will see us through.
The big question is” “When do the responsibilities of parenthood end?” The greatest gift a parent can give a child is their independence, and the ability to survive on their own. Some of these kids never get their hand out of the parents pockets and feel entitled to everything plus a bit more. Another damning indictment of a materialistic society that quests for more and more of the really unimportant things in life.
Neither my wife and I ever received any inheritance from any relative. My mother died at age 52 when I was 30, and my father spent any money she had. I had to pay out of my own pocket to bury my father at 80. We had been helping my wife’s parent pay for their house because they were even more irresponsible than my spendthrift dad. They said they would pay us back, but both died owing us $50,000.
We worked hard to pay off our house, cars, credit cards and all debt. We have no children, but now my wife wants to leave some money to her niece and nephew who are both making more than I ever did in my working years. I wanted to take out a reverse mortgage and buy a new Z06 Corvette and drive off into the sunset in a blaze of glory, but the wife won’t have it. What are we going to do with $700,000 home equity if we don’t enjoy some of it ourselves?
I left home with all ten fingers and ten toes. My parents mission was accomplished.
They probably do. But is it enough?
The best strategy is to save several times what you'll probably need, just in case you live to be 100 or have huge medical expenses.
That way you have a buffer -- even if expenses are much higher than you imagine, you won't be destitute (or dependent) in your old age. And most of the time you won't actually have to spend it all, and the kids will inherit whatever is left.
So you have the expenses of old age covered, and the kids probably have an inheritance. Everybody's happy.
Have seen too many relatives and family friends work up to retirement age, and die from some cancer or other - never to enjoy what they worked for. Can’t blame anyone for enjoying their life, working or retired.
The dramatic daughter needs to grow up a little bit more.
These folks have figured out how to retire comfortably and travel in their 40's. I'll bet they're smart enough to have that figured out.
“ Who is supposed to help care for you in your old age, assuming you reach it ?”
My mom told me never to have children with the expectation that they will take care of you when you are old. I guess she had friends who had a bad experience.
Yes, and that is not even considering the enormous emotional and physical toll it takes on the child that is caring for a parent. That last year (last stage dementia), we were hit, kicked, bit and cussed at constantly, but we treated him with the love and respect he deserved (it was his illness not him, he was never like that - he was gentle and soft spoken normally).
She really had some nerve. My BIL only once gave us respite but it was a week and never again. But he at least appreciated what we were dealing with.
Yep, the best plan is to have one penny left on the day you die. But that's difficult to plan.
In fact, just because you asked, let me bore you with a photo I took near Jasper, Alberta three weeks ago. This guy led his harem down the river bank to the Athabasca River and all of them swim across.
As far as i know ALL babies are born naked and stupid. Sounds like their babies still are babies. Grow up you little pamper babies.
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