Posted on 10/01/2023 10:50:47 AM PDT by DFG
PHOENIX, AZ — After years of being jailed with violent criminals, Buffalo Guy was kicking himself today for not simply pulling a fire alarm on January 6th to force Congress to evacuate.
"Seriously? I could have just pulled the fire alarm instead of going to all the trouble to dress like a buffalo and charge into the Capitol?" said an aghast Buffalo Guy. "Gosh, do I feel silly."
Buffalo Guy, known in some circles as Jacob Chansley, watched yesterday as Representative Jamaal Bowman demonstrated how to properly and legally commit a crime to delay Congressional proceedings. "So you pull the fire alarm, and then come up with some ridiculous excuse, like you thought the fire alarm was a doorknob," explained Mr. Bowman. "You could even say that you have lived your whole life under the impression that pulling a fire alarm is how you select Nacho Cheese Doritos out of the vending machine. It doesn't matter. They can have you on video committing the crime, and as long as you explain you're too dumb to understand what a fire alarm is, you're good to go! Have at it destroying Congress!"
At publishing time, millions of Americans had headed for D.C. to help continuously pull the Capitol fire alarm in hopes of stopping Congress from ever doing anything ever.
It would have been a lot easier as we can all see
Bttt.
5.56mm
One J6’er watched yesterday as Representative Jamaal Bowman demonstrated how to properly and legally commit a crime to delay Congressional proceedings.
“So you pull the fire alarm, and then say you thought “the fire alarm was a doorknob.”
“Heck, you could even say that you have lived your whole life under the impression that pulling a fire alarm is how you select Nacho Cheese Doritos out of the vending machine.
It doesn’t matter. They can have you on video committing the crime, and as long as you explain you’re too dumb to understand what a fire alarm is, you’re good to go!
Have at it destroying Congress!”
nypost.com
Jon Levine
Sept 30, 2023
snip
Creating a false fire alarm is a misdemeanor in the District of Columbia and punishable by up to six months in jail. “No one in this country is above the law,” Bowman himself said just months ago in tweet attacking former president Trump and applauding his various indictments.
In addition to the false report emergency misdemeanor charge, pulling the fire alarm could also possibly constitute illegal obstruction of congressional proceedings — a federal felony, according to the Washington Examiner.
Bowman could be also potentially be charged with obstruction of justice under D.C. law, which includes “corruptly, or by threats of force, any way obstructs or impedes or endeavors to obstruct or impede the due administration of justice in any official proceeding,” according to the outlet. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy said he would call for a probe into the matter by the House Ethics Committee.
“This is the United States Congress, not a New York City high school. To pull the fire alarm to disrupt proceedings when we are trying to draft legislation to AVERT A SHUTDOWN is pathetic…even for members of the socialist squad,” Cong Malliotakis wrote on X, formerly Twitter.
The Bee nails it again.
ROFL and true!
Buffalo Guy Kicking Himself For Not Just Pulling Fire Alarm To Evacuate Congress
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/4186205/posts
Hahaha right? I’ll bet he is.
Actually... the Bee is onto something here. Why didn’t someone simply pull the fire alarm that day?
"I always wanted to be a fireman."
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