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Garland Says No Double Standard [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 June 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/25/2023 6:25:10 AM PDT by John Semmens

Attorney General Merrick Garland rebuffed suggestions that his Department of Justice has a "double standard" when it assesses how to treat persons suspected of wrongdoing. "We weigh each and every situation to determine how to proceed," he maintained. "Sometimes circumstances call for aggressive prosecution. Sometimes a more lenient approach is warranted."

"Take the recent decision to go easy on Hunter Biden," Garland suggested. "Here we had an individual with no previous criminal record--a first time offender, so to speak. It was our determination that no useful public purpose would be served by putting this individual behind bars. Additionally, it would be hugely embarrassing for the son of a sitting president to be thrown into prison with hardened criminals and have to face the threat to life and limb that exists in such an environment."

"On the other hand, take the decision to bring the full weight of the law down on Donald Trump," Garland continued. "Trump has already been found guilty and fined $5 million for defaming E. Jean Carroll for refusing to admit that he raped her. Rather than learning his lesson, he continues in his denials, thus forcing Ms. Carroll to sue him again. This kind of recidivism is very concerning. Trump has also been indicted by New York City District Attorney Alvin Bragg for falsifying New York business records in order to conceal damaging information and unlawful activity from American voters before and after the 2016 election. Trump is also under investigation for his attempts to overturn his loss in the 2020 election. I think he pretty much fits the profile of a career criminal who should be put in jail for the good of society."

"On top of this there is the matter of Trump's threat to our democracy," Garland added. "Despite being soundly rejected by the voters in 2020, Trump is still seeking to usurp the presidency of Joe Biden. He attacks the reputation and the actions of President Biden on a daily basis. This is extremely disunifying. For the sake of the country I have advised President Biden to pardon Mr. Trump on the condition that he admit guilt and withdraw from public life. So, Trump's fate is now in his own hands. I hope he will choose wisely."

In related news, in an appearance on MSNBC this week, Democrat Virgin Islands Delegate to Congress Stacey Plaskett expressed trepidation about "having Trump not only having the codes but now having the classified information for Americans and being able to put that out and share it in his resort with anyone and everything who comes through should be terrifying to all Americans" and suggested "he needs to be shot."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,503724.0.html


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: biden; postandrun; recidivism; satire; selfpromotion; trump

1 posted on 06/25/2023 6:25:10 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Summary:
Garland = LYING WORTHLESS TURD


2 posted on 06/25/2023 6:30:28 AM PDT by Da Coyote
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To: John Semmens

He probably thinks that it’s not a double-standard because he’d do the same for any democrap.


3 posted on 06/25/2023 6:30:49 AM PDT by rivercat
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To: John Semmens
It is quite possible that these hardcore lefties have so convinced themselves of the rightness of their actions that they can no longer see their own biases.

They see Trump and his supporters as evil incarnate but they see Biden and the Democrats as just normal human beings. Everything Trump does is a high crime and Biden--well, sure he makes a few little mistakes here and there but nothing of substance.

4 posted on 06/25/2023 6:32:45 AM PDT by RoosterRedux (See my FR homepage for a link to the entire Bible narrated by David Suchet on youtube. FREE!)
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To: John Semmens
--- "Sometimes circumstances call for aggressive prosecution. Sometimes a more lenient approach is warranted." Merrick Garland.

Sometimes justice is blind, supposedly, and sometimes it puts its thumb on the scales, evidently.

5 posted on 06/25/2023 6:37:58 AM PDT by Worldtraveler once upon a time (Degrow government)
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To: John Semmens

Garland is a bigger joke than Jeff Sessions. At least, Sessions was honest enough to recuse himself when he realized he really wasn’t up for the job. Garland is a poor little white boy who is in over his head with Obama and Holder pulling his strings. Worthless.


6 posted on 06/25/2023 6:38:06 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (FJB is out there signing hundreds of new gun laws and won't even enforce one against his own son.)
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To: John Semmens

What Garland is quoted as saying here is fascinating. He is obviously very aware of how pathetic his DOJ is. Why else would he come out and spend such effort to spout this carefully crafted tripe?
It is a very significant time to be alive. Hang on! The ride is not over.


7 posted on 06/25/2023 6:42:11 AM PDT by Honest Nigerian
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To: John Semmens

It’s not a double standard, it’s Double Think. The ability to observe two contradictory and opposing ideas, and reconcile them. It begins with an abiding and sincere belief that 2 + 2 = 5. Everything else flows from that.


8 posted on 06/25/2023 6:48:35 AM PDT by Spok (“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”)
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To: John Semmens

Of course not. There is just one standard. You’re with us or we destroy you.


9 posted on 06/25/2023 7:06:08 AM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: Da Coyote
IMG-5685

10 posted on 06/25/2023 7:15:19 AM PDT by mabarker1 ( (Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress!!!)
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To: John Semmens

He’s right. It’s not a double standard, it’s a hyperbolic standard (where y= wealth and X= punishment)


11 posted on 06/25/2023 7:23:46 AM PDT by Farmerbob
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