Posted on 06/05/2023 5:52:17 AM PDT by MtnClimber
If you want your murder to matter, you need to be shot, not stabbed. How much coverage did the four University of Idaho students stabbed to death in their apartment last year get? Even though theirs was the first murder in Moscow, Idaho in 7 years, you probably didn’t hear about it.
Pin on Pinterest Mass stabbings don’t have the same sexy cachet as mass shootings. Unlike the UK, no one responds to mass stabbings by proposing to ban chef’s knives. (Yet.)
But not all guns are equal.
If you really want people to notice your murder, you had better arrange to be shot by an AR-15 or some mean-looking gun that Democrats want to ban as a “weapon of war”. Handguns are used in 78% of mass shootings. Like the kind that happen every weekend all over Chicago. And you don’t want to be just another statistic among the “15 shot over a bloody Sunday afternoon”.
Handguns don’t count. If you want your murder to matter, don’t get stabbed or shot with a pistol. Remind the shooter that if he doesn’t invest in an AR-15, he won’t make the evening news.
If you are about to be shot by an AR-15, congratulations, you’ve almost hit the lottery. Your brutal murder will be reported on CNN. Paid activists will brandish your photo for a week or so at gun control rallies. If you’re really lucky, Biden or Kamala might even call your family. But there are still a few things you can do to improve your brand and maximize your murder recognition.
Be a minority. Even if you’re not technically a minority, it’s never too late to discover some long-lost Indian heritage or to decide that you’re non-binary in the 3 seconds before the (hopefully) AR-15 rounds impact you. Also you can rapidly convert to Islam by quickly mouthing three times the sacred Islamic shahada, “Muhamad fi halat ‘shikker’ w’Allah ‘fressing’ fi ‘ayaam aljumueat fi TGI Fridays”. If you or the bullet are in a hurry, just skip to the last words.
Those 3 seconds can make all the difference between your murder being a mere “crime” and a much more serious “hate crime”.
Aside from making the national news as a non-binary 1/256th Muslim Cherokee murdered by an AR-15, your murderer might actually be punished, instead of released with an apology by a Soros DA....
I don’t think I really want to be a non-binary 1/256th Muslim Cherokee murdered by an AR-15. At least not today.
“”How much coverage did the four University of Idaho students stabbed to death in their apartment last year get? Even though theirs was the first murder in Moscow, Idaho in 7 years, you probably didn’t hear about it.””
I thought they have received tons of national and British coverage and the killer still gets mentioned when something arises in his case.
Huh? This writers says “you probably didn’t hear about” the Idaho murders?
The story was all over the news, and not just in the U.S.
Get greased by a cop and not a gangbanger. Now that will make the evening news.
And handguns are used in 0% of mass stabbings.
Regards,
“How much coverage did the four University of Idaho students stabbed to death in their apartment last year get? Even though theirs was the first murder in Moscow, Idaho in 7 years, you probably didn’t hear about it.”
I thought it was all over the news. They’re still covering Bryan Kohberger in court
https://www.bing.com/news/search?q=Bryan+Kohberger&qpvt=bryan+kohberger&FORM=EWRE
BTW if you search Iowa stabbings you get a lot of cases showing up. They seem to like knives in Iowa
Aside from making the national news as a non-binary 1/256th Muslim Cherokee murdered by an AR-15, your murderer might actually be punished, instead of released with an apology by a Soros DA....
As always, some excellent wordsmithing from the esteemed Daniel Greenfield!
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Daniel Greenfield's website: The Sultan Knish blog
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa did...not screaming and begging for my life like the passengers in his car when it happened! ;)
...driving over a cliff...:)
Cliffs are deceptive enticing us with great views and all but at their heart they are murderers!
ping
I didn’t hear about them
Author picked a terrible example. The college stabbings were all over the news
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