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China Assures Warships Heading For Taiwan Are Just Meteorological Warships
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/05/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/05/2023 4:11:53 PM PST by DFG

BEIJING — The Chinese Communist Party has assured world leaders that the massive fleet of warships heading toward Taiwan is just checking on the weather in the Taiwan Strait.

"Not to worry, those are simply meteorological destroyers," said Wei Fenghe, China's Minister of National Defense. "And the bombers circling overhead, they are just monitoring cloud patterns. Relax, everyone."

Upon sighting the ships, Taiwan immediately alerted the United States that the incoming warships might be used for war. However, President Biden was quickly reassured by President Xi Jinping that any explosions in the Taiwan Strait were simply part of a very intense meteorological mission. "Mr. Xi said they can use artillery shells launched towards an island to learn more about which way the wind blows! Not a joke!" said President Biden. "That's tackling climate change right there. Now to be honest, I'm not sure how aircraft carriers help learn about weather, but President Xi said not to worry about it. I can't wait to see what all he does!"

President Xi announced that the Chinese Communist Party has developed several new units recently, including meteorological tanks, helicopters, and grenades. "We plan to deploy these weather units all across the globe," said President Xi. "We have learned much about the weather in Hong Kong, and now it's time to study Taiwan. The Chinese Communist Party appreciates America's patience while we battle climate change, one country at a time."

At publishing time, President Xi assured Biden that the intercontinental ballistic missiles flying overhead were simply "meteorological missiles."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; china; meteorological; taiwan; xi

1 posted on 02/05/2023 4:11:54 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Go BEE !!


2 posted on 02/05/2023 4:15:55 PM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: DFG

Always spot on


3 posted on 02/05/2023 4:16:23 PM PST by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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To: DFG

Like Star Trek. Their frigates are principally peaceful, exploratory research and diplomatic vessels.


4 posted on 02/05/2023 4:18:28 PM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: DFG

I spent almost 2 1/2 years doing oceanographic research in the North Atlantic above the Artic Circle. No Joke!


5 posted on 02/05/2023 4:19:29 PM PST by SubMareener (Save us from Quarterly Freepathons! Become a MONTHLY DONOR)
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To: DFG

China is going to DESTROY climate change WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK!


6 posted on 02/05/2023 4:19:35 PM PST by MeganC (There is nothing feminine about feminism. )
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To: DFG
Shrimp boats.


7 posted on 02/05/2023 4:21:10 PM PST by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: Bonemaker

Are you saying there are shrimps on those boats?


8 posted on 02/05/2023 4:28:10 PM PST by US_MilitaryRules (#PureBlood)
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To: SubMareener

You forgot your air quotes. lol


9 posted on 02/05/2023 4:32:08 PM PST by logi_cal869 (-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
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To: US_MilitaryRules

Hey, if the swabbie shoe fits...


10 posted on 02/05/2023 4:33:42 PM PST by logi_cal869 (-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 /!i!! &@$%&*(@ -)
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To: DFG

LOL!!! damn the BEE...


11 posted on 02/05/2023 4:40:39 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: DFG

Biden say see all that money China gave me is for meteorological research just to help save the world.


12 posted on 02/05/2023 5:08:00 PM PST by Vaduz (LAWYERS )
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To: DFG

The Bee is on fire today. 😂


13 posted on 02/05/2023 5:24:01 PM PST by Allegra
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To: DFG

Meteorologists also played a big role during the D-Day invasion. Their forecast is what postponed the landings by a day.


14 posted on 02/05/2023 5:34:04 PM PST by AlaskaErik (There are three kinds of rats: Rats, Damned Rats, and DemocRats.)
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To: DFG

ROTFL

Laughing to keep from crying. This is much too close to the truth!


15 posted on 02/05/2023 5:47:26 PM PST by TigersEye (The Democrat Party is criminal, unAmerican and illegitimate )
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