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Pfizer Introduces New Mascot 'Clotty'
Babylon Bee ^
| January 25th, 2023
| unattributed
Posted on 01/25/2023 11:30:59 AM PST by shadowlands1960
NEW YORK, NY — Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled their new mascot, an adorable glob of platelets who goes by the name "Clotty".
"See? Blood clots aren't scary!" said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla as a smiling Clotty danced onto the stage. "Welcome to Pfizer, Clotty! Let's get one of these little guys into every home in America!"
While Pfizer initially pushed back against evidence tying the vaccine to blood clots, the company has decided to instead embrace it. "We are so excited for Clotty to help us put a friendly face on heart attacks and strokes," said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla. "Every new COVID booster will now come with a plush Clotty doll you can take to the hospital when you inevitably get admitted with a massive embolus. You'll love squeezing Clotty while they wheel you into the cath lab! Thanks, Clotty!"
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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Adorable
To: shadowlands1960
2
posted on
01/25/2023 11:31:55 AM PST
by
PGR88
To: shadowlands1960
3
posted on
01/25/2023 11:36:34 AM PST
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
To: shadowlands1960
And Clotty is gender neutral.
4
posted on
01/25/2023 11:37:47 AM PST
by
Revel
To: shadowlands1960
Coof can’t get ya if the Clot kills ya first!
To: Revel
> And Clotty is gender neutral.
That’s right. Any gender - even non binaries - can clot.
6
posted on
01/25/2023 11:42:50 AM PST
by
glorgau
To: shadowlands1960
If Dr. Fauci goes on another “Vax-Persuasion Tour”, somebody in a Clotty suit should follow him from place to place, and try to get a Selfie with the Dr. Maybe even his autograph too!
To: shadowlands1960
Hmmmm! Does it have a gender? 😂😂👍. 🔬🤔😱🚫😷💉🐎💩
8
posted on
01/25/2023 11:47:28 AM PST
by
rktman
(Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this? 😕)
To: shadowlands1960
9
posted on
01/25/2023 11:48:25 AM PST
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: Revel
https://www.atf.gov/firearms/curios-relics No, Clotty is a "he/him."
If she were a "she/her" her name would be Clottie.
10
posted on
01/25/2023 11:49:17 AM PST
by
Yo-Yo
(Is the /Sarc tag really necessary? Pray for President Biden: Psalm 109:8)
To: shadowlands1960
11
posted on
01/25/2023 11:49:55 AM PST
by
E. Pluribus Unum
(The worst thing about censorship is ████ █ ██████ ███████ ███ ██████ ██ ████████. FJB.)
To: shadowlands1960
great. where can i get my action figure and hat?
12
posted on
01/25/2023 11:49:58 AM PST
by
dadfly
( )
To: shadowlands1960
Pfizer Introduces New Mascot ‘Clotty’....then dies suddenly.
To: mikelets456
I’ve always wondered where the sick genious (sic) who gave us Clippy went...
14
posted on
01/25/2023 11:56:35 AM PST
by
null and void
(Stupid but believable? Probably satire. Too stupid to believe? Probably reality here in clown world!)
To: shadowlands1960
15
posted on
01/25/2023 11:58:38 AM PST
by
ConservativeMind
(Trump: Befuddling Democrats, Republicans, and the Media for the benefit of the US and all mankind.)
To: shadowlands1960
Clotty says, “America, let's talk.”
16
posted on
01/25/2023 11:59:23 AM PST
by
Vision
(Woke is communism and it has no place in America. Election Reform Now! Obama is an evildoer.)
To: lee martell
17
posted on
01/25/2023 12:02:48 PM PST
by
DesertRhino
(Dogs are called man's best friend. Moslems hate dogs. Add it up..)
To: null and void
LOL-—what every happened to that? maybe clip died suddenly as well?
To: null and void
19
posted on
01/25/2023 12:07:26 PM PST
by
dfwgator
(Endut! Hoch Hech!)
To: null and void
20
posted on
01/25/2023 12:16:46 PM PST
by
metmom
(...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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