FBI Releases All JFK Documents Except For The One That Says They Killed Him

Babylon Bee ^ | 12/17/2022 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At the direction of the FBI, the National Archives has released all of the government's documents related to John F. Kennedy's assassination - except for the document that says the FBI killed President Kennedy.

"We are happy to finally declassify all of the JFK documents, with one tiny exception," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "We hope this will put to rest all of those silly conspiracies about how the FBI planned the whole thing, and I really hope no one ever asks us about this again."

The release from the National Archives comes as the FBI has sought to increase public transparency and trust. "We believe shooting straight with people is always the best policy," said Director Wray, his head tilting backward. "It keeps people from believing there may be some second source of information that's being hidden. We hope this release will allow the public to see things from our elevated vantage point."

At publishing time, the FBI had promised to also release further documents about the so-called "moon landing".

[Lazamataz]

Leave it to the Bee!

[Leep]

Sting

[GreatRoad]

LMAO! These Bees are genius!

[Westbrook]

This is why the globalist and their wokie sycophants hate the Bee.

The Bee’s headlines are too close to reality for even me to laugh.

[Eleutheria5]

Brilliant.

[deport]

A Christmas Donation to FR would be nice

[Falcon4.0]

If Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone,
then what is the threat to "National Security" that requires retention of other files?
Just asking for a friend. "sarcasm off"

[jerod]

This kill shot clearly comes from behind Kennedy, not from the front... Lee Harvey... All by himself.

But it would be funny if they actually admitted killing him. That would be hilarious.

[Carl Vehse]

Babylon Bee does another spoiler alert.

[Carl Vehse]

Babylon Bee does another spoiler alert.

[nesnah]

Interesting gif.

How exactly does brain matter and blood spray to the back if the projectile comes from the back?

Seems to break the laws of inertia (physics).

[Mark17]

The Bee’s headlines are too close to reality for even me to laugh.

Yep, not much satire there.

[Mark17]

If Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, then what is the threat to "National Security" that requires retention of other files?

If the government withholds information, then people tend to make up their own minds what they believe.

[imardmd1]

And how do we knw that they have released "all" of the documents aexcept only one? Who knows how much they were withholding, eh? Where is Diogenes now that we really need him?

I guess the FBI claiming to be righteous perhaps should be bundled with the Scribes, lawyers, and Pharisees in Jesus' times to whom he addressed this accusation:

John 8:44,47 (AV):

⁴⁴Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 
⁴⁷He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.

Is this an examining searchlight under which the corrupted government agencies might now be seen?

[Vigilanteman]

There is a reason LHO had to be offed a.s.a.p. after he was arrested and before he could go to trial. It had something to do with why the body of JFK had to be spirited off to DC before the autopsy required by Texas state law could be conducted.

[drSteve78]

Ooooooh……BURN !!!! ( invoking Kelso)

[A strike]

Waiting for DugwayDuke, DannyTn, Williams , et al. to check in.

[muir_redwoods]

IMHO, Lee Harvey Oswald was the only shooter in Dallas that day. Who put him up to it is the real question.

I have a hypothesis. The CIA feared that Kennedy would go wobbly in Vietnam after his humiliation in both the Bay of Pigs and the missile crisis where he had to deal away missiles based in Turkey.

The CIA knew Cuban assets could be induced to get Oswald to do the deed resulting in an LBJ presidency. This gave them a more gung ho Commander-in-chief running things in Vietnam.