Former Californians Begin Grumbling In 105-Degree Texas Heat: 'It Would Be Better For Us To Go Back To Slavery Under Pharaoh Newsom!'

Babylon Bee ^ | 07/25/2022 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

WACO, TX — After a steady exodus of people fleeing to Texas to escape oppression under Governor Gavin Newsom's rule, there has been a sudden outcry for a return to the ‘coastal paradise' amid rising temperatures in the Lone Star State.

"Some ‘Promised Land' — did we escape just to perish in this heat?" A local reporter interviewed sweating former Californians outside a Bucc-ee's in the KWKT Fox 44 segment on the crisis.

The "So You Wanna Go Back To Cali?" segment documents the Californian refugees crying out for a return to slavery, with most remembering it fondly: "Would it not have been better for us to have died where at least we had meatless burgers, plenteous vaccines, and some beach access?"

Leaders of the "Texas Exodus" have called for Californians to remember their bondage, with eyewitnesses confirming that Joe Rogan and Elon Musk tore their clothes and reminded exiles of their home state's brutal taxation, extreme housing prices, rampant crime, and religious persecution, but were met with cries of "Why did you lure us to Texas to kill us with this heat?"

At publishing time, Governor Gavin Newsom of California bragged that he could "tax everyone at 65% and wouldn't lose any voters." As of his last recall, he was correct.

[Huskrrrr]

Way to go, Bee. Perfect!

[dfwgator]

"Adios, Mofo!"

[Huskrrrr]

No Mana from Heaven in Texas?

[nagant]

They escaped because were out of work, and descending into poverty. But now they want the things which caused those conditions.

[cweese]

LOL! What’s the context of that? IIRC, he also said this when Todd Willingham was euthanized.

[Menehune56]

We’re also hoping for an even larger exodus of libs who can’t tolerate living in a right to life state.

[from occupied ga]

In many the Democrat mindset is an incurable disease. No matter how bad the quality of life gets under Democrats they continue to vote Democrat - they may move to another state, but continue to vote Democrat thus befouling their new location

[Karl Spooner]

I always thought they must have read the bible!

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

[dfwgator]

The camera kept rolling after an interview with a reporter and it caught Perry saying it to the reporter.

[Sacajaweau]

I got stung!!!

[dfwgator]

We tried to warn them, we told them they would have Texas. But they didn’t listen.

[rlmorel]

"The "So You Wanna Go Back To Cali?" segment documents the Californian refugees crying out for a return to slavery, with most remembering it fondly: "Would it not have been better for us to have died where at least we had meatless burgers, plenteous vaccines, and some beach access?"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Those folks have real talent over there at the Bee!

[dfwgator]

[rlmorel]

LOL...reminds me of “Tim The Magician”.

“I TOLD them...”

[Tell It Right]

During their protests, they forced Rogan to make a lithium-plated statue of an aborted baby and shouted "This is the darwin who rescued you from the shackles of sea tides!"

This prompted Musk to cry out to God: "Oh, Lord. Why must I lead such a reckless people? They hate me even though I still want a carbon tax!"

ROTFLMCFASHWUAO!

[dfwgator]

have=hate

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Shortly thereafter, due to the reluctance of the Californians to wrest Austin from the Canaanites, the Lord condemned them to wander in the deserts of West Texas for 40 years.

[Palio di Siena]

I remember Edward G Robinson saying - of her own free will -
In the 10 commandments- still sounding like he was in a gangster movie.