VANITY: Now it is serious. We have a doughnut shortage!

self | 06/20/2022 | self

[Dr. Sivana]

I run the coffee and doughnuts after the 9:00 AM Mass here in Phoenix, AZ.

On Monday morning I go to our doughnut supplier, a Kroger-owned supermarket, and submit my order for 12 dozen doughnuts, describing how many and what kind.

The ladies in the bakery apologized as they informed me that they would not be able to fill my order as described due to a "doughnut shortage".

A doughnut shortage?! Is nothing sacred? Here we are fiddling with baby formula and right under our noses I am told that there will be no chocolate doughnuts, no cake donuts, and likely not enough doughnuts at all.

They agreed to substitute other pastries that ordinarily cost more, so I have no beef with the supermarket. Nonetheless, if there is a doughnut shortage, anything is possible. Nothing is safe.

[Dr. Sivana]

Since they make the doughnuts themselves at another location, I have no idea what this really means. Inadequate labor? Flour shortage? Cocoa shortage? And why can they make the other pastries? Very, very weird.

[heavy metal]

there appears to be holes in this story...

[PGR88]

Its a staff shortage. They probably had to cut shifts.

Find a family-run local donut place/coffee shop that makes their own. There’s quite a few good ones near me - I would never buy a supermarket factory donut!

[BiglyCommentary]

Get off the ledge. You can substitute apple strudels for donuts.

[Rebelbase]

Cops most affected.

[mkmensinger]

Police nationwide are taking strike votes. Chris Christie is calling the suicide hotline.

[Dr. Sivana]

Find a family-run local donut place/coffee shop that makes their own.

I checked those. They charge double. My Knights of Columbus supplies Doughnuts, premium Coffee, fresh made Lemonade and USA Apple Juice off of donations. We can't afford double. Normally, selection is also better (oddly).

[ThunderSleeps]

Well, two days ago our little suburban town just outside a larger town was suffering a couple of shortages. No gas, no diesel - all three stations in town were out. Similarly one of the two grocery stores in town had no, repeat no milk whatsoever.

The Biden economy - bringing Venezuela to you.

Tell you what, in 2024 I'm voting for mean tweets and $2/gal gas.

[Kartographer]

The just need to make the holes bigger, they can call them ‘Joenuts’!

[SamAdams76]

The inventor of the munchkin was a genius. Instead of throwing the holes away, put them in a box of 24 and have the kids clamor for them so their parents have to buy them.

[McGruff]

Dam you Putin!

[Dr. Sivana]

You can substitute apple strudels for donuts.

Doughnuts are already in single serve portions, and Apple Streudel is not quite a replacement for a Raspberry Jelly Doughnut or a well-made French Crueller.

They are supply other single serve pastries that dunk well in coffee, so we will get by until we are past this calamity.

[Dr. Sivana]

The inventor of the munchkin was a genius. Instead of throwing the holes away, put them in a box of 24 and have the kids clamor for them so their parents have to buy them.

I am suspicious. Jelly doughnuts don't have holes, and yet there are jelly doughnut holes.

[Sarcazmo]

Yep, we all are.

It will be interesting to see what the results are. I bet they are underwhelming.

I mean they got “most votes in the history of voting” to stick.

[SamAdams76]

We need to open an investigation!

[Dr. Sivana]

I would never buy a supermarket factory donut!

Most Dunkin Donuts use frozen factory doughnuts these days. From what I can tell as a long-time doughnut eater, Fry's (Kroger) uses their own bakery department in a larger store.

[Osage Orange]

I really don’t care for donuts.....I do care about Joe being nuts though.

[BiglyCommentary]

“Doughnuts are already in single serve portions, and Apple Streudel is not “

I saw this super cool product at a Home and Garden Show this spring that they were calling “The Knife”.

[Telepathic Intruder]

Great. Now the cops have nothing better to do than write speeding tickets.

[Valpal1]

They probably buy doughnut pre-mix rather than blend their own. It might be more of a rail/truck shipping issue rather than a shortage of ingredients.

Logistics have gotten very messed up by fuel prices. Nobody is transporting a half empty truck, so they are making fewer trips with fuller trucks. Just in time inventory shipping is no longer a thing.

The bakery manager hasn’t adjusted to the new reality that he has to order more supply with less frequency.